There are a lot of causes for marriages to fall apart. A lot of couples have struggle from issues in marriage because it’s either that we don’t want to or won’t believe just how much work it takes to keep relationships humming at optimal levels.
Another reason can be a simple failure in imagination. But, since it’s true that to pull off successful courting it requires commitment, hard work, and imagination… then why do we act surprised when neglect hurts relationships after we have walked down the aisle?
They wouldn’t have married you if you took them for granted – so why risk everything now?
But let’s assume that the damage is done, so can a broken marriage be repaired? There are many good strategies if someone wants to restore an ailing, under the weather marriage.
Here we suggest the following 10 tips on how to save their struggling or broken marriage or even a relationship.
Choose to love
Love comes and seems easy when its brand new. It’s new and exciting, something we haven’t ever experienced or maybe we did but from a different source.
But eventually it gets mundane and boring. Love over the long term is as much of a choice as it is an emotion. Choice is difficult, it’s an act of maturity, and it has a much better track history than emotion left to make a way on its own.
Even if you get bored, choose to love the person you are committed to. Look for the things that made you fall in love. Prove to them that love prevails over everything else.
Pray for your partner
If you are going through a failure in marriage chances are that you launched your relationship with both promises and prayers.
Pray for your spouse, and ask for guidance as you pledge to make the kind of effort that will bring you both back close. When you pray, you hope.
When you hope, you try. Praying will indirectly result in you making even more efforts blindly for saving your bond and eventually it will work out.
Surround yourselves with positive people in healthy
Some of those negative patterns that result in a sabotaging relationship involves friends.
When you are around people who sleep with a different person every other day and who talk about how exciting their life is compared to your boring one, you unconsciously become confused that maybe you’re missing something in life.
Or those who remind you that maybe you haven’t explored the sea yet and settled too early.
Instead, we should hook up with a faithful community where marriage is valued and there is a widespread support for making yours work by reminding you of all the perks of having a loyal partner.
Act as if your mate’s happiness is more important than your own
Putting your spouse’s needs first nurtures trust, gratitude, generosity, and affection.
They will realize that you are willing to make things work and that you genuinely care about them in return to which they will also be willing to make efforts.
Put the relationship ahead of everything
It’s unfortunate, but time has a way of fading away at our priorities. From you being the most important thing in one’s life, work, the family business, the children, aging parents, even shopping, gossiping or drinking can become a priority.
Marriages don’t work well when one partner plays second fiddle to anything. It’s a known fact; the happiest kids are those who’s parents love one another the best.
Start over from the scratch
Ask them out. Make sure you remind yourself why you went out with them in the first time and build from there. When did you last talk for hours face-to-face, held hands at a movie, or smooched behind a plant in the mall?
Get silly about each other. If you don’t feel like it, do it anyway to save your marriage, this will indirectly remind you exactly why you chose the person.
Stop taking your partner and your relationship for granted
Say “thank you” when they make you breakfast. Celebrate obscure anniversaries that you think don’t matter anymore. Tell them how much they mean to you and how you want to keep them in your life.
Spend your free time with them. Pay attention to the little things they do and act like someone who really values the relationship.
You can’t afford it? Believe me, it’s cheaper than divorce! Most counseling sessions simply involves a few sessions to get the communication flowing again.
A willingness to talk instead of taking any action in that context sends a hugely positive message to your partner.
Follow the counseling with an action plan
Just like a personal fitness challenge, counseling comes with homework and an action plan over time. Draw up the schedule, ask friends you trust to help you, and then follow through. When both parties take responsibility, anything becomes possible.
Change the patterns
Do you usually come home angry? If so, stop the car a block away and think about it first and cool yourself down. Do you always fight when something doesn’t go as you planned? Try agreeing with your partners decisions and supporting them 100%.