Relationships are hard. They take time, work and energy. But they are also very rewarding.
If you are entering into a new relationship, here are 10 things you should avoid in a relationship. These things will help you be stronger and feel more connected to your partner.
1. Do not take your partner for granted
Often in relationships, we forget to tell our partners how much we appreciate them. Take time to show your partner how much you appreciate them by either doing little things for them or just telling them. Sometimes a small word of appreciation can go a long way in a relationship and is one thing of the many things to avoid in a relationship.
2. You cannot read your partner’s mind – so stop trying
Does your partner react the same way every time you ask them to do something? Do they get upset about certain things so you just avoid asking those questions altogether? Assuming that someone will react a certain way is really unfair to them. Chances are just because you think they are going to react a certain way does not necessarily mean that they will react that way. You cannot read your partner’s mind and it is not fair for them to have you mad at them for something that they never said or did. These are small things to avoid in a relationship.
3. Arguments do not have to end the same day
While it may seem counterproductive, sometimes it is a good idea to step away from the argument and let it breathe for a little bit. When you are angry with each other you might end up saying something that you regret. Take a step back from the argument and clear your head. You can even go so far as to sleep on the argument. When you’ve taken a step back, you might realize that the fight is more trivial than you thought.
4. Do not throw good communication out the window
When interacting with your partner it is important to remember good communication. This means strong listening skills and strong active talking. Remember, your partner cannot read your mind (as much as you would like them to), so you must tell them what you need or want. And do not be afraid to tell your partner what is on your mind, but you must listen to their opinion as well and this is another thing to avoid in a relationship.
5. Approach issues in a way that appeals to your partner
If you come to your partner aggressively, or with a hostile attitude, they will likely shut down. When you need to approach your partner about something try to do so in a calm, clear and concise manner. When you approach your partner in this manner, they will be more willing to hear you and more likely to work the issue out.
6. Tackle tough issues early on so they are not hanging over your heads
When it comes to things like faith, finances, and family these things should be talked about early in the relationship as the longer you do not discuss them they can begin to erode the relationship over time. Take time earlier in the relationship to set a clear understanding on these issues and you will avoid the stress of them later on.
7. Leave the past in the past
There are things in your life that will be easier to get over than others. If you and your partner agreed to move on from something, you must stay moved on from that issue. If the issue is something you cannot move past, then it might not be good to stay in this relationship. Holding onto the past not only hurts your partner, but it will also hurt you and will breed anger in your relationship so you should know things to avoid in a relationship.
8. Do not fight dirty
As much as it seems like a good idea to punch your partner while they are down, doing so is very unfair to them. When you are arguing, stay focused on the issue at hand and only on that issue. Fighting is not meant for personal attacks and character assassination. Focus on the issues at hand and do not resort to personal attaches as they can do permanent damage.
9. Things to avoid in a relationship: Do not refuse to compromise
While it is perfectly acceptable to have your own set of beliefs, values and morals, we cannot expect our partner to strictly adhere to those beliefs too. They also have their own sets of values, beliefs and morals that they must follow and expect them to abandon those is very unfair. In your relationship there will need to be some compromises in all areas and to refuse to compromise will be the end of your relationship.
10. Unrealistic expectations are never okay
Everyone has the perfect image in their head of what the perfect partner will look like and often the reality is nowhere near the truth. When you set unrealistic expectations on their partner it breeds a sense of resentment on your partner’s part.
If you keep these ten things in mind, you will be able to strengthen your relationship and be able to spare yourself countless hours of stress and frustration by things to avoid in a relationship.