I may be incredibly biased when it comes to discussing the pros and cons of being single (and childless). Now approaching the later side of my 20’s, I’ve chosen to be a swingin’ single most of my life. But LADIES. Fellas. Let me tell ya; there are a BUNCH of ways in which being on your own is infinitely cooler than being tied down.
Whether you’re newly single and dreading it or simply starting to take your unlimited freedom for granted, let me help remind you exactly how good the good life is:
Oh, I’m sorry, were you saying something? I couldn’t hear you over this amazing stretch I’m getting that takes up the entire bed. My lungs, arms, neck, and legs have never been so relaxed.
There’s a website called ListenOnRepeat that allows you to effortlessly repeat any Youtube video forever. Thank me later.
Yes, that’s right. Today I’m going to have a pint of Halo Top ice cream for dinner, Cheeze-Its for dessert, and drink wine while watching videos from Dr. Pimple Popper until I pass out. You know why? BECAUSE THESE ARE THINGS, I LOVE TO DO, AND THERE’S NO ONE HERE TO JUDGE ME FOR THEM. (Hello again, unattractive food-belly. I’ve missed you so. Don’t worry; you’re safe here.)
How does this outfit look? Maybe you should ask…. you.
What movie should we see? Let’s ask… Me, myself, and I.
Is this too much make up? Let us consult… The mirror. And our own sense of taste.
Was that a rude thing to say? Hmm, I dunno, let’s ask ME.
You’ll find the things you only did because of other people begin to fall away.
Explore that obscure, oddly specific, really random interest of yours as long and as hard as you want. Being single and on your own means, the only person you have to worry about entertaining is you. Talk about whatever makes you come alive. Forget what anyone else says.
Not having to coordinate schedules, wait for texts back, or argue/cool off/makeup/argue again means you literally have weeks of more life to yourself. Go online and start learning another language. Read that book you meant to get to three years ago. Pick up a side hustle to make more money. Have lunch with that friend you haven’t had time to see in months. Play video games till 4 am. Learn to juggle. (Write about why being solo-dolo is the best thing on earth.)
Dinner for two just turned into more dinner for you, and a whole bunch of saved gas money.
Funny how life moves faster when you don’t have to carry 100lbs of someone else’s baggage, huh?
Can I take advantage of this irresistible invitation to somewhere awesome? Hmmm, let me check my sched—YES. Can I drop everything to spend quality time alone? Gee, I don’t kno— ALSO YES.
You can decide to drastically change your hair, your style, your belief systems, your job, your living space— without having to explain yourself. On your own, you don’t have to worry if you’re changing the parts of yourself that your partner was attracted to in the first place. So learn to trust your own judgment! Get to know yourself and what you truly prefer in life.
You don’t even have to smile if you don’t want to. Not always feeling responsible for someone else’s feelings makes it easier, to be honest with yourself. There’s no more feeling afraid of saying the wrong thing or not doing enough. Just be you.
We often see our partner screaming or crying as a sign of failure on our part. Seeing strong and loud emotions in others can be terrifying. But sometimes the best thing for a person is to simply sit with strong emotions and let them spill out until there are no more. The easiest time to do this is on your own, with no one else feeling the need to panic or stifle you with hugs.
When you don’t have a significant other to text or call, your network of friends and relatives are put to the test. Don’t be afraid to start reaching out. You might be surprised by who’s been happily waiting for you to simply ask for more time and attention.
I haven’t had to ask anyone to open a jar for me in years (just wrap a rubber band around the lid and use a towel for more grip). I know how to change my own tires and car oil. I am a champion spider and bug killer, and I’m not afraid to walk alone in the dark at 3 am. I’m still waiting for my medal of honor in the mail.
Facing personal demons is like paying taxes, or eating all your vegetables; it’s not sexy, it’s rarely enjoyable, but it’s important and completely non-negotiable. Most people I’ve met are running as fast as they can from their own problems by distracting themselves with a lovely (or just dramatic) relationship. Without distraction, your own problems take center stage. Save yourself the mid-life crisis later and just deal with them now. Trust me.
I would say this mostly happens on nights I sleep alone. Have some pillow talk with a higher power for once. Or, decide for yourself to sleep in.
As it turns out, being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make you happier. And being single doesn’t automatically make you a friendless loser. Crazy how that works, huh? It’s almost as though there’s more to life than whether you’re going steady or not.
Movies make it look easy: just wait around for an angel to stumble into your life and solve all your problems for you. Simple. No effort on your part. And they lived happily ever after.
Save yourself the wasted time, and take it from me— if that’s your plan you’ll likely be waiting forever. Picture what you wish someone would say or do for you, then do it. It’s 100x more rewarding to save yourself anyway.
Good morning, beautiful. Remember when we used to abuse ourselves verbally? So glad we don’t do that anymore. Now, put on those clothes that make you look great and kill some more spiders all by your bad self.
Let ‘er rip. You’re worth it.
Featured Image Courtesy: Pixabay (www.pixabay.com)
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