Wanna know a shocker? Money, sex, and unmet expectations are the three most common battlegrounds found in relationships. That means the majority of your conflicts will be centered in one or heavens forbid, all three of these courts.
There are some fascinating statistics out there regarding money in relationships. Even though most will agree that money isn’t the most important thing in the world, they would also quickly agree that it doesn’t hurt to have some.
Consequently, money matters are often the root of friction, mistrust, and disagreement in relationships. Did you know that money is the most commonly cited reason for divorce and disagreements?
Whether it’s an open battle or a quiet tension underlying your relationship, money matters need to be resolved and the two of you need to come to an agreement you are both satisfied with… or at least can both live with.
How can money be affecting your relationship?
You and your partner may have very different personalities when it comes to spending or saving money. The saying opposites attract rings true for many couples as they butt heads over each other’s spending and saving habits.
The two of you will need to write down each of your expenses on paper, down to the last penny, and create a budget together. Seeing how much is being spent can help the spender moderate and allows the saver can loosen up a bit when they know they have a certain amount of personal spending money set aside each month.
Don’t police your partner, nobody likes their partner to act like their mother or father. Instead, focus on trying to understand each other’s financial habits.
Consider consulting each other on purchases over a certain dollar amount. Above all, keep your relationship honest and transparent. That means no secret credit cards or concealing money spent.
Still dating? Don’t save difficult financial conversations for after that walk down the aisle. Now is the time to discuss salary disparities, debt, and your financial goals.
Being on the same page and being honest about where you are will allow each of you to figure out what to do going forward. It’s best to be brutally honest with each other now rather than blindside each other later, causing resentment.
Sex is another common conflict area. Who would think something so fun could be the source of so much tension right? Sexual differences can be resolved when the both of you try to find a win-win situation.
Negative sexual experiences in the past or trauma can greatly hinder one partner’s view and desire for sex. Other couples simply find themselves with different sex drives.
To eliminate tension you and your mate will have to have an open, honest, kind, and frank conversation about sex. Way too many couples avoid talking about this area.
Realize that sex needs to be a mutually satisfying experience. It isn’t just about your needs or his needs. It is about both of your needs. Discover what your partner wants and needs and learn to meet them halfway. Consider scheduling in time for sex.
While this may sound silly, most couples are too busy or don’t place a priority on sexual intimacy. Putting it on the calendar allows both of you to anticipate your time together in advance.
Learn to be upfront with your love about what does or doesn’t feel good. Your partner isn’t a mind reader and lovemaking won’t improve if you’re not honest about what you would like.
3. Unmet Expectations
This is where unmet expectations can wreak havoc on your relationship. Whether it is in the bedroom or on vacation, unmet expectations can quickly build into resentment and bitterness.
Communicate your expectations clearly and learn to compromise and adjust to your mates as well. When both of you are invested in the relationship, you will both be motivated to meet each other’s needs. Keep your expectations realistic, however, and practice putting the needs of others ahead of your own at times.
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