Love & Relationships

3 Reasons Why Couples Start to Look Alike in Long Term Relationships, Science Explains

3 Reasons Why Couples Start to Look Alike in Long Term Relationships

If you have been with your partner in a long term relationship, then probably someone has told you that you look alike. Some might even think that you are siblings, which might gross you out. Here is a scientific explanation of why this happens.

Many of us still believe that we consciously choose our partners. Humans are quite primitive beings, and we subconsciously pick our partners by looks, scent, and proportion. We look for symmetrical face lines, healthy body and similarity to ourselves. Because what matters to us, is that we could have healthy descendants, who can carry on our genes.

long term relationship

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We might think that we fell in love with our partner’s laugh or cooking skill or his music taste, but the thing that draws us to them is much more necessary. When someone fits into our subconscious requirements, we start to find things we like about them to rationally explain our attraction towards them.

But why do the partners we choose start to look so similar to us over time? Here is why:

1. You Resemble Each Other From The Beginning

This is scientifically being explained that we like the things (and people) that are similar or familiar to us. In a partner, we subconsciously look for similar traits. The similarity can be in looks, behavior, education level, background or world views. This phenomenon is called assortative mating, which means that we are drawn to people, who are similar to us or whom we can relate to. The reason, why we tend to choose physically the same partners as well, is that subconsciously we want to perpetuate our genes. This was researched in the University of Colorado, which study showed that people are attracted to others, who have similar DNA.

2. Shared Experiences Affect Physical Appearance

While being together with another person, you inevitably share all the experiences. When one of you has a hard time, the other one is affected as well. Or if you live through a tragic event, you both may have physical or emotional scars for life. All our life experiences affect the way our body and face get old. This means that people, who have been together for a long time, have the same wrinkles and laugh lines.

healthy relationship

Image Courtesy: Love Panky (

3. Your Face Reflects Your Mental State

This means that if you are happy in the relationship, your face is softer and calmer. But if you have problems, your face might be spotty, and your eyes might be sad. This goes to both of the partners. It is not possible that one is happy and the other one is unhappy with the relationship. People, who have been together for a long time start to copy their partner’s slang, voice, behavior, walk and laugh. This is unintentional and makes us feel closer to our partners.

So next time you are looking for a partner, try to notice the aspects that your subconscious is looking for in a partner. And when you have been together with someone for a long time, try to analyze, if you and your partner look alike ( if you don’t, maybe you just haven’t experienced that much together yet).

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