People get married with the idea of staying together forever. Sometimes things do not work out the way they were planned to, and nearly half of the marriages end in divorce. It is a lot easier to break up when you do not have a mutual loan, house or kids.
Sometimes people stay together just because it would be too complicated and hard to break up. When you have mutual responsibilities and kids, you think that it is more beneficial to stay together.
Here are the actual 3 things that will happen, when you stay together only for the kids:
1. Your children will internalize your behavior towards one another
Even if you try to hide it and put on a happy face in front of the kids, they will know when something is not right. They will get the wrong illusion of a healthy relationship. When they do not see the love between you and your partner, it will mess up their understanding of love, and it will influence their future relationships a lot. Children are not the best at listening what you are saying, but they are very skillful in imitating your behavior. So staying together and only pretending to be a big happy family will give your kids a twisted understanding of a healthy relationship.
2. Resentments will build – and not only between yourself and your partner
Children will want some explanation; they are not going to be satisfied with the answer “sometimes things just go that way.” They need someone to blame for a conflict or their unhappiness. They might lash out at strangers or be angry at you or your partner. They might also shut themselves down and hide all of their feelings. It is pretty standard that the children will start to blame themselves for their parents’ unhappiness.
The parents might not even notice this with all of their problems and arguments. This makes the children anxious, stressed and gave them low self-esteem. The childhood experiences have an enormous impact on the future life, so be very careful and watchful how your kid is acting.
3. Your children will be living in a place of conflict
It is commonly thought that children won’t notice or understand their parents’ arguments. The truth is the opposite. Children feel the negative tension even stronger than adults. They can tell if their parents don’t get along. Of course, it is not healthy to hold your emotions in and not communicate with each other. Occasional conflicts teach the kids to compromise, to listen to all the sides and to forgive. But arguing all the time makes the children feel unsafe and unhappy.
All parents want the best for their little ones, and some believe, that staying together despite being unhappy themselves is good for the kids. The truth is that two separate happy parents are much better than unhappy parents, who are together. So save yourself and your children and know when to end an unhealthy relationship. Otherwise, your kids will be scared for life.