Breakups are hard, and despite all the advice out there, there’s no one way to get over a guy that you’ve been with. There’s no secret formula, either, for the amount of time it takes because every relationship is different. What’s important is that you realize that getting over someone and being able to move on is a process that you have to go through.
As you go through the process of getting over someone, it’s important to take time to gauge where you are in that process. Some days, you may feel like you’ve gotten over him, and then the next day you realize you’re not there yet. You may not even understand that you’re not over him again, which is why we put this list together.
Here are six signs that you’re still not over him:
1. You Keep Reading Old Messages
If you go back to read his old messages because he sent you someone’s phone number that you’ve since lost, that’s fine. However, if you’re going through them because you miss the conversations you used to have, then this is a definite sign that you’re still not over him. Along with this same line, if you’re listening to old voicemails or watching videos just to hear his voice, it’s also a sign.
2. You Drunk Dial Them
This isn’t necessarily a sign because some people dial their ex while drunk just to be funny or because they’re looking for an easy hookup. However, if you find yourself pulling up their number every time you’re drunk, and doing this in addition to some of the other items on the list, there’s a good chance that you’re not really over him yet.
3. You Keep Stalking Them on Social Media
It’s not a big deal to still be Facebook friends with your ex or to follow them on Instagram. However, if you find yourself intentionally going to their account to look through everything they’ve recently posted and to see who’s liked or commented, you’re probably not over him. Seeing your ex’s post on your feed is a lot different than intentionally looking at their profile.
4. You Go Places They Might Be
You don’t have to go as far as waiting outside their house for them to come home at the end of the day to know that you’re not over him yet. If you find yourself hanging around stores he frequents or taking alternative routes that take you past his workplace, then that’s proof enough that you’re not as over him as you think since you’re consciously or subconsciously looking for him.
5. You’re Still Single
First of all, there’s nothing wrong with staying single for as long as you need to get over a breakup or as long as you want. However, if your reasoning for staying single is that on some level you’re keeping yourself available for him, then you’re not over him. Don’t jump into a new relationship to prove you’re over someone, but use this as a sign that you still need to move on.
6. Certain Songs Make You Emotional
Whether it’s “your” song that comes on the radio or just a song that reminds you of some part of your relationship, getting emotional over anything that reminds you of your ex is a good sign you’re not over him yet. Likewise, if you intentionally put music on that makes you emotional when you think of him, then you still haven’t moved on.
If this list has made you realize that you’re not over him yet, that’s a good thing! It means that you know where you stand so you can keep going through that process as needed. And, if you don’t know what next step you need to take so you can get over him, then you may consider getting professional counseling so you can have an expert walk you through it.