There’s nothing wrong with loving someone with everything that you are. Unless, of course, that person is a narcissist and not capable of loving you back. If you’re worried that you may be dating a narcissist, then there are a few things to keep an eye out for so you can get out before you completely lose yourself to them.
Here’s what a narcissist will do to you in a relationship:
1. He will change you
A narcissist will change you in unexpected, horrifying, and occasionally wonderful ways. By the time most people get out of a relationship with a narcissist, they are completely broken and have lost a sense of identity. You won’t know who you are outside of your relationship because he has been the one telling you who you are for so long.
2. He will earn your trust
Earning your trust is the first thing a narcissist will do because once they get you to believe that they are a good and trustworthy person, it’s easy to manipulate you into doing whatever they want. In the beginning, you’ll feel completely safe with him and tell him everything. But it won’t take long for him to start using that trust and your secrets against you, usually when you’re too involved to walk away easily.
3. He will tell you he loves you
Often, a narcissist will be the first to use those three magical words of “I love you.” They desperately want to hear it back because they need you to love them. If you don’t love and worship them, then you’re useless to them, so they will tell you they love you to earn your love. But when a narcissist says “I love you,” it has a very different meaning.
4. He will isolate you
A narcissist knows that your friends and family members will be able to see his true nature before you will, and that’s one of the main reasons he will separate you from them. He also recognizes the strength in numbers and wants to keep you as alone as possible, so you stay with him. Because of that, he will work hard to cut you off from nearly everyone else in your life but him.
5. He will trap you
He traps you by changing you into a weaker person that you think nobody else could ever love. He traps you by earning your trust than using your secrets against you. He traps you by manipulating you into loving him so that you feel attached and connected. He traps you by isolating you from friends and family members so he’s the only one you can turn to.
6. He will destroy you
If you’re not able to get out on your own, a narcissist will destroy you emotionally and end things with you when he feels like you no longer serve his purposes. Of course, he has already broken you down so that you’re but a shadow of your former self, but he has no use for shadows, so he will throw you to the side and look for a new victim, leaving you wondering what happened.
7. He will give you the chance to be reborn
To be reborn as a stronger person, you first need to be out of that relationship with a narcissist. If he doesn’t toss you aside, then you need to take the leap and get out yourself. The hardships that you endured and the methodical tearing apart of your being can give you the chance to rebuild yourself, and you will find yourself to be stronger than you thought possible.
If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, know this: you don’t have to live like this, and you can get out before it goes any further. You don’t need him, and you can stand on your own two feet. Take a deep breath, recognize what’s going on, and do something about it.
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About the Author: Originally from Michigan, Melody now enjoys working as a freelance writer from her home in Nicaragua, which she shares with her amazing husband and their crazy cat that was raised on goat’s milk from the time her mother abandoned her at just ten days old. They’re excited to be expecting their first baby, who they thought was a girl, were told was a boy, and then was told was a girl. She also recently finished her first novel and is working on making a cat coloring book.