Dating

7 Ways of Dealing with Missing Your Ex

Thought Catalog

When it comes to ending a relationship, it is hard to move forward.  But what is causing us to hold onto the relationship that was potentially damaging? Essentially, we miss the noise.  When a relationship ends, there is an empty space that needs to be filled with new “noises”.  So what can you do to help you move forward and start missing your ex less? Here are seven things you can do to help deal with missing your ex.

1. Be Patient

It may seem silly, but you need to just be patient with yourself and wait out this adjust period.  Take time to really love yourself and start working toward those things you want to accomplish and work to give yourself something that you have been wanting for a long time.

2. Muddle through the Confusion

The time after a breakup is very confusion.  It can leave you feeling doubtful of yourself and make you blame the relationship failing on something that you did.  It is not easy to re-center yourself, but start forcing yourself to focus on new things.  Find a new activity or hobby and immerse yourself in that which will force you to become brave and outgoing which helps combat grief.

3. The Silver Lining

Now that the relationship is over, what did you learn about yourself? Every relationship brings with it a few life lessons.  Take time to step back and look at what you gained from this relationship.  Make not of the good that came from the relationship.  Now think about what were you not getting from this relationship and why were you comfortable settling for less than what you needed and wanted? Make a list of what you were missing and be prepared to look for those items in your next relationship.

4. Remove the Evidence

It may seem obvious, but take time to remove anything that reminds you of your ex from your life.  You do not necessarily have to throw everything away, but you should not have easy access to those things either.  Once you get rid of the things, remove all connections via social media and take their number out of your phone.  Your brain will do a good job of reminding you of this person without the help of everything else.  Removing them from your life will help you feel like you are taking control back and is a way of showing that you are done.

5. Keep Busy

Now that you have taken time to find a new hobby or activity, fill your time with that activity.  Keeping busy will help you stay focused on moving forward versus living in the past and will fill your life with positivity.

6. Make Friends

Once you have taken time to recover from the relationship, get back out there.  Reconnect with your friends by joining their events and when you are ready get yourself back into the dating game.  There is no need to continually isolate yourself.  Take time to get back out there and continue moving forward.  You might be surprised at who you will meet when you start putting yourself back out there.

7. Get Active

It is amazing how much physical activity can help relieve stress during a stressful time.  Take time to find an activity that brings you joy and helps you move forward.  Exercising can release endorphins that give you a feeling of strength and well-being.  Take advantage of that free “high” and channel that energy in to building yourself up.

Breakups are never easy.  If you find your ex attempting to get back into your life, make the decision that is best for yourself and decline any attempts from your ex.  Not only will you show them that you have started to move on, but it shows them that you respect yourself enough to not accept anything less than what you need or want.  It is hard to adjust to being single at first, but over time you will find that you were better off single than in a broken relationship.  And you will be grateful that you decided to move forward instead of getting stuck in a repetitive loop of hurt and heartache.

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