When you contemplate intimacy what is the first thing that comes to your mind? If you’re like most of us, your mind probably wanders to things I’m probably not supposed to mention in this article.
Seriously, we live in a sex-obsessed world, and most people automatically think of something sexual when you say the word ‘intimacy.’
Relationships that can stand the test of time are built on a solid foundation that is from genuinely getting to know your partner.
If you become intimate in ways that don’t involve sex, it makes the connections we have with the one, much stronger.
Isadora Alman, M.F.T., who is a licensed marriage and relationship therapist, a Board-certified sex therapist, author, and lecturer, had some wise words about this subject in an article she wrote for Psychology Today.
“Intimacy, on the other hand, is much harder to achieve than simply rubbing body parts.
It involves letting yourself be known—your hopes, desires, fears and foibles and knowing and accepting another person inside and out,” she said.
No one denies that sex is indeed an intimate act, but did you know that there are other ways to be intimate that don’t involve sex at all?
Sharing these intimate moments that have nothing to do with sex, in your day to day life, can increase the intimate bond between you and your lover.
In turn, this could make your future sexual encounters even hotter than they already were, to begin with.
If you’re intrigued, I’ve put together a list of different ways to be intimate in ways that don’t involve sex. Read on to discover several ways that can increase your intimacy tremendously.
1. Compliment your Partner
Verbal communication is a huge part of being intimate. Paying a compliment might seem like a subtle thing to do, but it means a lot to your partner to know that you’ve noticed something. Don’t be scared to be open and let them know the things you love about them.
If they have a new haircut, tell them how hot they look with it. New shirt? Tell them it seems reasonable to them.
Tell your boyfriend he’s handsome or your girlfriend that she’s beautiful, and do it often. When someone feels appreciated and loved it touches them intimately in a place that you can’t reach physically.
2. Write Love Letters to One Another
With all the super easy ways to stay connected with one another these days, people often forget to take it to a romantic level. It’s so easy to send a quick text, but often texts don’t get the essence of your true feelings across.
Take time to compose a sweet love letter or a poem. You don’t need to have a degree in writing for it to make your partner’s heart flutter with happiness and excitement.
If you send them a love letter signed with “My love for you is as deep as the ocean and as high as the sky” instead of an abbreviated “ILY” you’re sure to leave them swooning.
3. Gaze Deeply into One Another’s Eyes
While it might seem like an insignificant thing to do, it’s very intimate. Research shows that staring into each other’s eyes is a sign that two individuals are in love.
When we are interested in someone or something our pupils may dilate, which proves that our feelings also have physical reactions to back them up.
Also, staring directly into your lover’s eyes can cause you both to become aroused. However, this only works with someone you like, if it is done by a stranger, it can be disturbing and cause a fear response.
During intimate moments like prolonged eye contact or hugging and kissing, Oxytocin is released.
This is also the hormone that causes mothers to create bonds with their infants.
4. Give Each Other a Massage Before Bed
Perform a ten-minute massage on one another before you go to bed, without planning for sex afterward. After a long stressful day, receiving a massage is sure to help both of you get a better night’s sleep.
It relaxes all your tight muscles and the power of touch, without the expectation of sex, is deeply intimate and bonding. Also, our skin has receptors that stimulate your brain to produce chemicals that make us feel good.
5. Sleep Together Without Having Sex
After your finished with massage time, go to bed; without having sex. When you sleep together in the same bed without having sex, it shows your level of comfort and security with one another.
If you’ve ever tried to sleep in the same bed with someone you aren’t comfortable with yet, you probably noticed you didn’t get much rest.
While your individual lives might take you in separate directions during the day, every night you come home to sleep soundly next to each other. The closeness of a bond like that is extremely intimate.
6. Take Care of Each Other When Sick
If your partner is sick or must have surgery, take care of them until they feel better again. Everyone gets sick at times and these moments are opportunities for you to be intimate in a nurturing manner.
Instead of asking if there’s anything you can do, offer to help in specific ways, like asking: “Would you like a bowl of soup and some ginger ale?”
Sometimes when people are sick, they don’t want to be a bother, and it’s easier for them to accept an offer instead of asking you to do things specifically.
It means a lot to your significant other because we all seem to heal faster when we are shown love and compassion.
7. Just BE Together Without Having to do Anything
When two people are in love, it shouldn’t matter if you are lounging on the couch binge-watching a TV show, or if you are on a romantic beach vacation.
When you are together, and sharing the time you have on this Earth, it should be enough to keep you happy if you are genuinely in love. Sure, beach vacations are fantastic, but we all know we can’t be on vacation all the time.
We’ve all heard the saying, ‘Love knows no boundaries,’ and it’s true. If you’re together, enjoying life, it shouldn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing.
I hope these tips on how to be intimate without having sex can help the bond between you and your significant other grow even stronger than it already is.
After all, a love that lasts a lifetime takes a little effort, and it doesn’t always have to be sexual.
Do you think these non-sexual ways to be intimate will help in your relationship? Or, perhaps you have some ideas I haven’t thought of, we’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.