Until I met my husband, I had never lived with a guy. I mean, I had boyfriends who were over a lot, but I never had an official place that we both called our own until my husband came along. We met, we fell in love, we moved in together, and there we stayed for seven years until we got married.
I never realized how much things changed once you live with a guy. I had had plenty of female roommates, but males are a whole different species.
Here are eight lessons I learned from moving in with guy #1:
1. Socks appear everywhere
That’s right, socks. They suddenly look anywhere. They are on the couch, the counter, the bed, the TV, the list goes on. And just when you think you found all those nasty suckers, you see another hiding in the corner. You just do not understand this concept…and never will.
2. Snoring can be like trying to sleep next to a heavy metal band
I’ve never been to a Rage Against the Machine concert, but my now husband’s snoring is the equivalent. When we first moved in together, I bought earplugs, a noise machine, and nose strips. The freight train of a sound was scary, but you do learn that a nudge here and there works wonders.
3. Man caves are real
Before moving in together, your time along was precious. You didn’t see each other all the time because you had your place. When you move in together, this all changes. The buffer zone has been eliminated, so the man cave gets real.
So real that you bought a Walkie Talkie for getting him back inside to fetch his socks.
4. Not even your toothbrush is off limits
Love does some crazy things to people, but some couples have different ideas about the saying, “What’s mine is yours.” Although it is no secret that the two of you have shared more than saliva, a toothbrush can still be something that you prefer to have in your mouth only, but he lost his and grabbed yours without hesitation. You pretend not to notice as he brushes away happily.
5. Farting (and more) happens…for both parties
In the privacy of your home, you relieve some necessary bodily functions that you may have been successful at taming during the times when you and your man were not living together. This becomes impossible when you are both sharing the same apartment and restroom. Let’s be blunt: farting happens, and pooping happens. There are books on this that you may need to share.
6. You have to find a place for that freaky painting he loves
Moving in together means combining your unique aesthetic tastes. You love the country theme, and, well, you are not sure what his theme is. It seems to be an eclectic mix of modern, antique, artsy, and Gothic. Let’s just say an interior designer might run away, but you have to compromise, so as much as you hate that freaky painting of a mechanical hand, you find a place for it—in the back room.
7. The remote is always missing, and you have to compromise between Millionaire Matchmaker and Naked and Afraid
Where does that remote go? You always used to put it on the window sill, but now you find it on top of the microwave, in the sink, or on the floor. Have mercy! And the shows. When you move in together, you are going to have to start watching some shows you both agree on because your previous preferences are night and day apart. Law and Order marathons, here you come.
8. The dish pile multiplies by 5
Oh, the dishes! You never thought you had that many, but now your cupboards are bare, and you wonder how such a skinny man can eat so much. This is a whole other article we don’t have time for, but the dishes! You clean them up and then, like an irritating magic trick, they reappear. This inevitably leads to one of those “talks.” The good news is that if you tell him about this issue, he will make an effort (Note: “an effort”) to tame Mount Dish.
Moving in with your first guy who may or may not be your last is an adventure and learning experience for sure. You are two different people, and you will need to learn the quirks of each other that may not have been prevalent when you each had your space. Although a rude awakening at first, this cohabitation is possible.
The first guy I moved in with happens to now be my husband–and despite the socks, freaky paintings, and freight-train snoring, we now live in a home that we can happily say is ours; we have been together for ten years.
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About the Author: Amanda Clark resides with her family in Ocala, Florida. In addition to contributing works for Peace Quarters, she also creates educational content for Atlas Mission. She is recently transitioning from a full-time middle school English teacher to a stay-at-home mom, tutor, transcriber, and writer. She has written four books of poetry: Looking at the Moon, Beautifully Mixed-Up World, Flying Fall, and Through the Blinds. She loves technology, juggling pins, and playing with her two-year-old son who will become a big brother in February. She also is a pro at multitasking.