When it comes to sexual intimacy, there is nothing better than knowing that you are desirable to another person. It is so thrilling to know that you are attractive and that given the opportunity, this person would be all ready to make love with you.
But what people forget is that people wanting to make love with you goes way beyond the ego boost you get when someone is attracted to you.
What people forget is that sexual intimacy is more than the act of having sex.
A person who is dissatisfied with their life will be more prone to look for external “wants” or “needs” to replace inner peace. They will be inclined to use sex as a way to fill a need they think is not being met, but in searching to fill an unmet need, they are not finding satisfaction within themselves.
As you gain more experience in the world of sexual intimacy, you should begin to find that your happiness and personal validation are not tied to sexual intimacy; rather, sexual intimacy adds to your happiness.
When you are confident in your sex life, you are already fulfilled and comfortable enough to find a sexual partner and be intimate with them.
Sexual intimacy is one of the best pleasures we have in life, but when we use it as a means to inflate our egos we are removing the true potential for connection with another person. It is important to remain mindful of your intentions of having a sexual relationship with someone.
So that brings us to the key to sexual intimacy: Mindfulness.
Mindfulness allows you to check your motives behind wanting to have sex with someone. Are you looking to get your ego boosted or are you looking to foster a deep connection with another human being?
If your answer is the former, you should possibly reconsider being sexually intimate with anyone. It is important to be aware of your intentions when you are preparing to engage in sexual intimacy.
If you are searching to use sex as a means to boost your ego, it will be easy to find several people willing to boost your ego in exchange for a few minutes of pleasure. But if you are looking for someone to be intimate with on a deeper level, you will find that your list of possible mates will drastically drop because you are being more selective with who you are sharing your intimacy.
Practicing mindfulness allows us not only to find a partner we actually love but also to serve that love, that relationship, rather than being enslaved by the constant craving for affirmation and external validation. This means that you want to be a good lover for your partner and are not looking for an external validation. When you are mindful of your intentions, you are also more likely to consider your partner.
What do they need? How are they feeling? Can I make this better for them?
When you are in this position where you consider your partner’s needs alongside with your own, you will find yourself making changes to be the best version of you because it will be of benefit to you and your partner.
The goal with sexual intimacy is not to gain physical pleasure, but also gain a connection with another person and practicing mindfulness in your own life will open you up to opportunities of great love and great connection.