Love & Relationships

9 Behavioral Changes You Experience When The One You Love Leaves You

Behavioral Changes

Heartbreak – as painful as it is, it’s a part of life. No matter what we might do to avoid it, the agony of an aching heart is inevitable, and until you experience it firsthand, you have no idea what it’s like.

Your body aches as you shed your old feelings and memories of a lover who you now refer to in past tense. You might notice the changes later on once you’ve gone around the bend, but the changes are there nonetheless.

Here are nine changes when someone you love leaves you

1. Sleeping is a lot harder

Sure, heartbreak hurts all day long, especially in the beginning, but it hurts the most once the lights go off. During the day you have all sorts of things you can do to distract you. You have to go to work, for one thing. You might also have a slew of loyal girlfriends who are by your side to keep your mind busy.

But once all the hustle and bustle of the day has ended, your left alone with only your blankets and pillows to keep you company. Even though you’re exhausted, sleep seems to escape you as your mind races and replays all the “should of,” “could of”!and “would of” happenings of your ended romance. If you can find something that helps you relax and unwind, do it. Until then, don’t beat yourself up if you have to take a melatonin every once in a while to help you drift to sleep.

2. Nights out with friends feel a little empty

Before the man, *ahem* I mean BOY, you invested in left you, having a night out with the girls was probably something you not only looked forward to but also could have needed for your sanity. But now that you know who has ended things, time out with friends seems a lot less fun.

This is especially hard if your past lover was mutual friends with your friends. Even though friends surround you, music is loud, and the drinks are inevitably flowing, you still somehow manage to feel lonely. You can’t help but wonder what he is doing or how he is feeling.

3. Basic tasks seem hard

Folding laundry and going to the store isn’t what you would normally categorize under as “difficult tasks,” but when your heart is hurting, these basic and mundane chores seem almost impossible. You will get over the hump eventually, but at first, this is something you must overcome.

4. Doing things you did together now makes you sad

Just like seeing pictures or home movies of a loved one who has now passed is painful, going to the stores you frequented together or doing the activities you enjoyed as a couple is tough on the heart. You can’t help but mourn the memories together as you try to do these things without this person.

5. Being alone is your new hobby

Even after the initial shock, you often find yourself spending more time alone now. There isn’t much left to talk about with your friends as you’ve probably burned out their ears with all your stories. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s something that usually happens as you transition to your next life phase.

6. You also pick up new hobbies

Refer to point number four – it’s painful to do the things you used to do with your ex, and because you’re spending more time alone, you eventually begin to feel the void of all this time spent solo, so you slowly venture out into the world.

You might pick up running or yoga, anything that can keep your mind off you know who. You begin to channel the energy that you’ve been hoarding into something new.


7. You meet new people and make new friends

Because you’ve started to invest in new endeavors, you begin to meet new people. You might not feel as outgoing as you did before, at least at first, but it does feel good to make new friends. Not to say that you don’t spend time with your caring gal pals from before, but you expand your reach as you start to dust off the cobwebs.

8. Music becomes your solace

Music can transform people and change your mood. When words just don’t do the trick, you can always throw on a pair of earbuds and escape into your world. Your mind becomes free as your journey through tears as you reminisce about happy times, anger as you draw on the hurt and hope as you envision your new, future self. Music is always healing.

9. You realize you’re a lot stronger than you thought

Once the pain has started to dull, you understand how terrible you are. As the pain begins to subside, your mind is now freed to focus on other things. You look back over the past, and you start to foster a new appreciation for your tenacity, your strength, and your resilience. The fact that you got through the agony and made it out in one piece on the other side gives you a sense of satisfaction that is incomparable.

No matter how long it takes you to get through the burning torment of an ended relationship, you will get through it. The entire experience will only make you stronger, and one day you’ll look back and smile.

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