Getting back with an ex never sounds like a good idea, so why when another romance ends do we find ourselves turning to a former flame for comfort?
Most of us have that ex that even after the relationship ends we can’t seem to get out of our heads and we find ourselves getting back in touch with after another potential romance sours.
You might have decided you aren’t suited for each other, but when you’re heartbroken, they seem to be the one person who can make you feel better. You might even find yourselves giving romance another shot.
But what is it about your ex that keeps drawing you back?
1. It’s An Ego Boost
Whether it’s starting up your relationship again, some harmless flirting or just a shoulder to cry on an ex can be the perfect person to turn to when you’re feeling blue.
When a romance doesn’t work out, your ego can take a huge knock, and there’s nothing like your friendly ex to remind you how desirable you are.
An ex-telling you’re sexy, beautiful and intelligent makes you feel more desirable than your mom or best-friend saying the same thing – after all, it’s a reminder that they fell for you once.
2. It’s Safe
Unlike a new relationship, you know what you’re getting with your ex so it can be easy and comfortable to fall back into.
If your most recent relationship left you with some heartbreak, the last thing you feel like doing is putting yourself out there again.
With an ex, you don’t have to do it, as you’ve been there before.
3. It Makes Your Most Recent Ex Jealous
Many of us are guilty of getting back with a former lover, just to make our most current partner jealous. If your boyfriend was paranoid about your ex, then you know it’s going to hurt him if he hears you immediately went back to him after you relationship ended. While it might seem petty, it can make you feel like you’ve got the upper hand in the breakup. It also makes it look like you’re moving on, without requiring the effort of meeting anyone new.
4. They’re The Perfect Rebound
When a relationship ends you miss not just the person, but the intimacy that comes from being close to someone. An ex can slip into this role easily, so it’s not surprising that you can end up substituting him into that space when a romance ends.
5. You’ve Got History
Even our closest friends don’t know us in the same way as a partner, so when you break-up with someone, their advice and comfort can be the most helpful.
From knowing the cookies you like, to what flowers will instantly put a smile on your face that familiarity can be just what you needed after a heartbreak.
Some n’t many people know us this well, so it’s not a surprise that we’re attracted back to those that do.
6. They’ve Seen You at Your Worse
If your ex-has seen you at your most angry, pathetic, annoying or embarrassing and still wants to date you then it’s hard to resist going back to them.
We all want to be loved no matter what and if they know your faults and are still interested it’s easy to forget why you broke up in the first place.
7. The Reason You Split May No Longer Apply
Sometimes the timing is off in a relationship, and things can fall into place only after circumstances change. This type of relationship can often have a few false starts before you fully commit to each other and during that time you can both date other people, knowing deep down if you could you would be together.
Love can be a waiting game, and it’s only after the circumstances are right and you’re both single can you make a proper go of it.
8. You Love Them, But It Doesn’t Work
You get on like a house on fire, have sizzling chemistry and fell almost instantly in love, but when it comes to the cold hard world, you just don’t practically work out.
If this is you, then you will know the torture of loving someone you know you’ll never be able to be in a long term relationship.
And, even though you know there’s no future, you can find yourself going back to them, time and time again until you eventually move on.
9. You Aren’t Over Them
There’s no time scale for getting over someone, and in some cases, you can have an entire relationship and a break up while still dwelling on your former flame. You might have been able to ignore those thoughts while with someone else, but when you find yourself single again, it can be this breakup that occupies your mind.
10. You Might Belong Together
The end of a relationship is often a chance to take a step back from your life and asses where you’re going and what you want.
It’s only when doing this that you could realize that your ex was the right person for you after all. Sometimes a break from one another is all you need to realize how well suited you are. Dating other people can help a couple assess what they value in a partner and could be why many end up reigniting a romance they thought was dead.
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