Nine things to keep in mind when talking to your child about sex. In a sexually charged society, it is important to take time to talk to your children about sex.
Yes, their school will talk to them about the reproductive process and educate them about the importance of safe sex, but they will maybe not talk about the emotional parts of having sex for the first time.
Here are nine things to keep in mind when talking to your child about sex:
1. They Know More Than You Would Think
Parents tend to think that their children are completely oblivious to sex at the age of 11 or 12, but unless they are kept in a bubble, they have seen and heard more than you realize. That being said, they probably do not fully understand what sex is and what it means.
Your job is to help them put together the puzzle pieces of sex and help them have a healthy understanding of sex.
2. Your Child Will Not Be Deprived of Their Innocence
Just because you have told them about sex, does not mean that they are no longer innocent. If your child understands sex as an act of love and the formation of new life, your child will retain their innocence.
3. It’s a Marathon, Not a Sprint
It is essential to take time to talk to your child about sex versus giving them all of the information at once. Chances are you will have several conversations across several years which are better than giving your child all of the information at one time.
4. It Should be a Natural Conversation
Over time your child will naturally start to ask questions about sex – even at a young age. They may not be sex-specific questions, but they could end up being questions about how the baby got in mommy’s belly, which is a natural time to talk about how babies are made. Just remember, your child will notice when you feel uncomfortable, so it is essential for it to be a natural conversation.
5. Your Child Will Emulate Your Sexual Behavior
If the first experience your child has with sexuality is through television or pornographic materials, they could develop an unrealistic view of sex. Taking time to show them the importance of a healthy relationship is helpful for your child to understand the importance of having a healthy sexual relationship.
6. Your Child May Ask a Question You Cannot Answer
If you find yourself in your situation where your child asks a question that you cannot answer, just be honest and tell them that you are not sure what the answer is. But make sure to tell your child that you will take time to research the answer and get back to them. Your child will appreciate the honesty, and it will help them feel comfortable to ask you more questions in the future.
7. Are You Uncomfortable?
If you are feeling anxious or uncomfortable talking to your child about sex, take a moment to reflect on yourself. Why are you uncomfortable talking about sex with them? Once you have pinpointed this fact, take time to redirect yourself. You can do this by either reading up on the subject or talking to someone that can help guide you.
8. You Want To Be The First Conversation They Have About Sex
It is much better to talk to your child about sex when they have little to no knowledge. This will prevent you from having to undo any untrue things they have learned through television or other avenues. Unfortunately, families do not typically have the chance to talk to their children before they learn about sex. It is essential to take time to talk to your child about sex before anyone else has had the chance to because you want to make sure they are given all of the facts.
9. Your Child May Not Want to Talk About Sex
It is possible that your child may not want to talk about sex with you. It is important to let your child know that you are available to talk about sex with them and you will be happy to answer any questions they may have about sex. Your child should feel safe and comfortable to talk to you when they are ready.