Dating

An Open Letter to Every Person In An Abusive Relationship; You’re Not The Only One!

It’s easy to recognize physical abuse, but mental abuse can be just as bad or even worse. Make sure you can clearly recognize the signs, this will help you and anyone around you.

Once you know what abuse consists of it’s a lot easier to detect it. It could range from a simple backhanded remark to aggressive screaming that terrifies your soul.

Unfortunately, detecting it is the easiest part. Now that you see the abuse it’s time to end it. Personally, I like to point out to the person what they are doing, whether or not it helps, it makes me feel better and could help stop them in the future.

It’s important to let the perpetrator know that you’re mad and why.

Don’t drive yourself crazy trying to convince them how or why they are wrong just establish a main point or two let them know how you feel and walk away. Their approval or their change should not in anyway be attached to you. Chances are they are very aware of what they are doing so telling them once is enough.

Many people could be the abuser, a significant other, a friend or a family member. There are distinct and unique ways to deal with each person.

If you are in the throes of a romantic relationship and suddenly it clicks that your partner is unreasonably cruel. Most times it’s not super obvious, but once you detect it, it’s exposed for good.

It doesn’t matter if you’re married with kids or just dating in high school. Lay Down the law; this is super important. This is when you recognize what they are doing and call them out on it and then establish what your standards are. Tell them you won’t tolerate their behavior and walk away.

You don’t need that in your life; It might make things more complicated at first especially if you are married but don’t let anything stop you from being treated properly.

For abusive friends it’s a lot easier to reject, you don’t have any legal commitments or romantic ties so when a friend is being mean it’s easy to get angry. Tell them what they are doing then cut them out of your life.

Don’t slink away or ghost them, make a big deal out of it. This is your chance to address someone who has abused you in some way.

I recommend making it a big deal because a lot of people like being passive aggressive when they are hurt, they would rather rake in the sympathy than truly address the issue.

Stop playing games.  Your quality of life is more important.

Now let’s move on to abusive family members Fighting abuse within your family can be one of the toughest challenges you face.  It’s a lot harder to walk away from a brother or parent than a friend. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t.

I don’t care who you are, if you are questioning my every move or criticising aspects of my life that have no affect on you, it’s time for you to leave. I have learned that negativity has no place in my life or anyone else’s.

It’s not always that simple of course, like if you live with the abusive person. Though don’t worry it’s not hopeless.

Difficult yes, hopeless no.

You aren’t alone, and you can always go to another family member for help. Maybe someone who has known the abuser can give you some tips on how to survive living with them until you’re able to leave.  Some good advice I have received involved getting to be financially independent as soon as possible. Not only will this give them less power but the time you spend working will limit your time with the person you hate.

Of course, you can’t always be out of the house so when you are home, keep a low profile, don’t initiate any conversations just go about your business.

If they still attack you verbally point out their transgressions, firmly let them know you’re aware of what they are doing and tell them how you feel.

Remember your primary goal is to leave as soon as you possibly can.

Also remember, tolerating people until you can leave should only be for those suffering verbal abuse, any physical or sexual abuse should be met with calling the police. Those scenarios don’t deserve a second chance. Verbal abuse isn’t something you can report but don’t despair, most of us have been there, and we believe on your strength and ability to leave and start over.

Please Share With Your Friends and Family!

Featured Image Courtesy: Pixabay (www.pixabay.com)

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