I get a lot of people asking if it’s a bad thing that they are still living with their parents after high school or college. My answer is always “of course not.” A good portion of society expects all of us to have everything together as soon as we graduate high school. I understand where that comes from, seeing that most baby boomers were able to graduate and get a job or go to college relatively easily and not go insane.
Currently, the world is a different place. Everything seems harder and more complicated when it comes to planning out a self-sustaining life.
The economy is mostly to blame. Housing prices are up, college tuition costs and minimum wage has remained stagnant. Not only that but jobs out of college are requiring more and more qualifications, which it’s almost impossible to find a good paying career without going into a lot of debt. Everyone knows this, but despite the awareness of the economic shift, the expectations have not lessened leaving anyone between eighteen and thirty years old a potential victim of this phenomenon that I like to call life treading. Just like treading water, it leaves you feeling as though you are about to drown in a sea of stuff you just don’t have a grasp on.
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Don’t worry. It’s not just you. I mean there are memes dedicated to this very concept. It’s time to stand up and not be ashamed for needing help. If your parents are super cool and don’t mind you living with them after college, then do it. It can create a weird dynamic at first but it’s not horrible after getting used to it, and it’s a great way to save money so you can get ahead of the game and move on to bigger and better things. Treading in the same spot barely making rent won’t allow you to get ahead.
If someone asks if you still live with your parents, there is no reason to be embarrassed. Nothing is wrong with several adults living together. It’s ok to have roommates, this is no different, except your parents will most likely be more helpful.
A friend of mine who is in his forties mentioned that for people his age it’s pretty normal to see people moving back with their parents, though rather than getting off of their feet after college it’s because of a divorce.
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Either way relying on someone to get everything together is not pathetic, it’s responsible. Just remember not to get too comfortable, this could be one of the downfalls of this arrangement. Make sure you keep your goals outlined and find a way to remain driven. Don’t forget why you are with your parents, most likely to save money so you can live on your own; it’s easy to get into a routine that’s comfortable, that doesn’t mean it’s good for you.
Though most people are living with their parents temporarily, it’s not at all a bad thing if you don’t have plans to move out. If they want you there and you want to be there, the relationship can be very beneficial.
If I hadn’t lived with my parents when I was older, I would’ve never actually learned who they are as people. They weren’t just parents at that point, and I was able to see their real personalities hear funny stories and see their pain. The experience is, of course, different for everyone. Some parents are already open, or won’t change their demeanor at all.
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Obviously, there are people who want to get away from home as soon as they can, so taking the risk and jumping into the deep end may be the better option for them.
Don’t get bogged down with measuring the speed in which you get things done or how successful you are to everyone around you. So, you might need some extra years with your parents to catch up. Trying to live up to others timelines will only set you back more. The quick rise to success doesn’t always last long; it can be a quickly dying flame.
Remember you are creating a stable foundation for yourself, and don’t let society shame you for your recognition of what you need whether or not it follows societies trends.
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