Many people confuse attachment with love. They think that they love somebody or that they are loved, but actually, they are just attached and too weak to let go.
They fight for their relationships not because there is unconditional love, but because they do not know how to manage on their own. It is always easier to stay in a comfortable and safe relationship than to go on their own.
As mentioned above, it is quite common to confuse love with attachment, but once you understand the difference, you feel free and yourself again. Of course, at first, it might be too scared to admit it, because you know that a relationship that is not based on love, cannot last long.
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The fear of losing the relationship and jumping into the unknown is terrifying as hell. The only worst thing is staying in a loveless relationship just because you are afraid.
When you first admit that it is only attachment, not love, you can open yourself up to the real thing and find someone, who will make you truly happy. Being stuck in a comfortable, yet not satisfying relationship can be pretty stressful and tiring, especially when you do not know what exactly is wrong.
The difference between love and attachment is not that big, and that is why it may be hard to notice. Love is pure, healthy and confident. It lifts you up and makes you feel at peace. Attachment can, of course, make you feel similar emotions, but it is also poisonous. Attachment makes you also jealous, scared and needy. You feel only at peace when your partner is by your side.
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With attachment, you do not care about your spouse’s true happiness. You only want them by your side. You need them by your side. You cannot manage without them, and it is even an unhealthy obsession. With love, you let the other person be free and flourish. You like to see them happy and make their dreams come true. You enjoy the time spent together, but you also respect their privacy.
Attachment is like a drug. Your partner is constantly on your mind, and you need them more and more. You might even collapse and lose the will to live when your partner should disappear from your life.
Genuine love helps both of the partners grow as persons. They support each other, but also give each other room and privacy. They choose to be together, but they do not need each other, and there is an important difference.
After break up, love still stands, and because of that, usually, partners can get along. Of course, it hurts, and it hurts bad, but if there is no obsession, it is manageable. With attachment, the pain is destructive.
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Usually, people, who have been in an unhealthy relationship, cannot get along, because they start to resent each other. You start to blame the other one in all of your misery and sadness. You do not love them as a person; you just love them as a part of your life. And it is damn hard to give up a part of your life.
Attachment is often blinder than love. With love, you can be honest with your partner and say what you mean. You can argue and fight and makeup. Attachment makes you only see the good in your spouse, and you are afraid of fighting because you are so scared of losing them.
In conclusion, love is pure and healthy. It makes you feel secure, happy and safe. Attachment is an unhealthy obsession, which brings you down and makes you feel insecure, scared and jealous. Do not settle for an attachment-based relationship, because in the end, it will make you sad, stressed and depressed. Learn to love yourself first and then find a partner, who will love you with all your flaws and will never take you for granted.
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