Dating

Why We Crave The Ones Who Reject Us; It Is Not Always About Love

A lot of people see something exciting in chasing the person they cannot get. They put a lot of effort in getting their attention and getting them to be interested, but without success.

Chasing someone, who is not that into you, is a challenge or a game. That’s why you are magnetically attracted to this kind of people. They seem so unobtainable and unachievable, which only makes you want them more.

It might be because when you need to work harder for something, it immediately becomes more valuable for you. You appreciate the things more, that doesn’t come so easily to you. You might think that when someone plays games and is harder to get, they are more valuable.

It is common that people, who want someone so desperately, start to change themselves for them and that’s never a good idea. First, you can never be pleased, when you cannot be yourself, and secondly, the more desperate you are, the less attractive you become to the other person.

It takes a lot of confidence to know your value and not let rejection bother you. Most of us still feel sad and insecure, when someone does not want you, and that’s why you develop this need to impress them. It is important to find a person, who likes you as you are, not the one who tries to change you.

One should never put their confidence or happiness in someone else’s hands. Do not think that you are more valuable when they like you back. It is unhealthy to think that their opinion is more important than yours, because who are they to judge you?

Of course, it feels wrong, when someone turns their back on you. But in the end, you will be so much happier without this toxic person in your life. Chasing someone will always bring you more pain than pleasure, and sadly many of us are still hooked to these kinds of individuals.

Chasing someone can even become addictive.

It seems strange, because why would we want to feel negative emotions or be treated poorly? But somehow the excitement and thrill of the unknown keep us in the game. The people, who reject us, seem so mysterious and intriguing. You want to be the one, who can get them to be in a relationship or show their feelings. Also, our egos won’t let us give up that easily. We just do not find it acceptable to be rejected by someone.

Think about it; there is probably a reason why this person is unavailable towards you. Maybe he/she is just emotionally unavailable and not ready to commit. Maybe he/she does not really like you. Whatever the reason is, there is no point in chasing after this person, because they don’t want or can be with you.

Also, if you want to chase after a person because of some old wounds or heartbreaks, there is no good outcome. The new person will not cure your heartache or solve your problems.

Even if the individual finally caves in and agrees to be with you, you most likely become obsessive and afraid to lose him/her, and this ends badly for at least one of you, and it is better to understand it in the beginning than to let it grow even bigger. Feeling in love is a great feeling, but if either of you has a lot of baggage or unfinished business, you simply cannot have a healthy and happy relationship.

The most important thing is to trust the universe. If you are meant to be, you will find a way to each other eventually. You cannot fasten the process by being obsessive and needy; this will only push them further away.

What to remember from all of this is that you cannot be happy in a relationship, where you are not equal with your partner. This means that don’t chase someone desperately. They will come to you when they are ready to love you and to commit. There are many reasons why relationships don’t work, but it does not help if you are trying to force it.

If someone is not that into you, find someone else who is. Life is too short to chase after the people, who do not see your value and don’t appreciate you.

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