Love and attachment are connected to each other, but they do not mean the same thing. Sometimes even people do not realize if they love someone or are just very attached and dependent on them. It is really important to understand the difference and know in which kind of relationship are you in.
Love is pure and and positive and means caring for the other person and sharing your life with them. Of course there is some attachment in love as well and you want to be considered in your partner’s decisions. But attachment can be quite negative as well. This can get very unhealthy and obsessive.
Attachment means you emotionally and even physically need the other person in your life. You cannot function without them anymore. You believe you are meant to be together forever and this relationship and person become the only idea in your head.
On the other hand, love is softer and milder. It is not as aggressive. You want to be with the other person, but it is not like a drug to you. You can have your own life and think about your own things as well. Of course this does not mean that the person is not as important to you, it just means this is a healthy relationship, where both love each other in a lovely way. Love lasts longer than attachment.
Attachment can be quite obsessive and clingy. In addition to thinking about the other person all the time, you want them to be near you. You get mad when they make their own plans or even have to go to work. You become paranoid and do not trust anyone around them. You might think that the co-worker wants to have an affair with them, that their parents do not like you and are trying to get rid of you or that their friends are talking bad about you.
Love means that two independent people choose to be together. It means both can be on their own as well – have responsibilities, hobbies and activities to do and friend to spend time with. Love means trusting the person you are with. If they need to travel for work or just want to go out with their friends, you do not get upset nor jealous over it. Love means wanting the best for your other half and making life as easy and enjoyable for them as possible.
People, who are too attached are often scared. Scared that the relationship will fall apart and they will lose the person they need in their life. Attachment can often be blind as well, you do not see the other one’s flaws or behavior, you find excuses for everything and still believe that they are the god.
Love means giving your everything to make the relationship work, but when you see it does not, you still have the strength to walk away. Because even if you love another person, you should always love yourself more. With love you understand that no one is perfect and you either accept your partner’s mistakes or you don’t. Love also means communicating about things that bother you or make you unhappy, because most serious problems can be avoided in this way.
In conclusion, love is not easy, but it is real. Love means fighting, compromise and making up in the end. It means giving your time and energy to another person and receiving it back in the same way. Attachment is easy, because it is an illusion of love. It is not as deep nor as long-lasting as love is. Attachment can become dangerous and unhealthy. Love means seeing the situation realistically and letting go when there is no way of fixing it. Attachment is often blind and does not see a problem when there is actually many.
Love gives room and makes you happy. Attachment is poisonous and makes you scared, jealous and miserable. Think about the situation you are in and how does it makes you feel. And remember, always choose love.
