As a young woman growing up in today’s world, it can feel overwhelming to complete and master all the tasks that society pressures us to do. One little obstacle, in particular, is finding a suitable mate to settle down with. When one guy leaves your life, it’s easy to wonder if you should give the dude a second shot.
Magazines offering relationship advice litter the newsstands, filtered photos of happy couples traveling the world bombard your newsfeed and the older generations never cease to dish up their brand of wisdom in regards to who you’re shacking up with.
It can be overwhelming. Online dating sites, social media pages and apps like Tinder have taken over. Patience has worn thin and true romantic connection has become a dime a dozen. When you finally find a guy that texts you back, seemingly enjoys spending time with you and doesn’t scroll through his Instagram feed while you’re telling your deepest secrets, you usually think you have a winner.
Women have mostly broken free of the age-old stereotypes that plagued the generation before us, and we’re breaking down glass ceilings like Harriet Tubman, and Amelia Earhart morphed into one.
But the pressure to settle down is still prevalent. This burden on our shoulders often leads us, badass young ladies, to settle for guys that don’t deserve us.
Our memories often deceive us, and instead of recalling the time your Ex-boyfriend cheated on you at a party, you instead remember how full of butterflies you felt when you had your first kiss.
But let’s get real here ladies. We are so damn good at dishing out advice to our lady friends when they are dealing with a rotten guy – but when it comes to our own love life, we often don’t heed our own words of wisdom.
We let guys that have disappointed us, cheated on us, deceived us and ultimately broken our hearts come back into our lives with little to no repercussions.
Ex’s are exes for a reason. You left them because they didn’t satisfy you and treat you right. These guys didn’t make an effort to rectify the situation or mend your heart that they so casually played with. And for some strange reason, our minds and memories trick us into thinking these guys deserve a second chance. We begin second guessing our judgment and we allow our great female ability of over-analyzing to consume our minds until we trick ourselves into giving some dude a second chance.
Instead of staying true to ourselves and the gut feeling we so intuitively know to be trustworthy, we circumvent those pathways of thought and cave into the random Facebook message on some Tuesday afternoon.
We’ve all been down this road before, and we know it never works out. Inevitably, these guys haven’t changed, even though they swear they have. The same old habits and the same disappointments come up, ultimately leading to the same conclusion. These guys are in our past for a reason, so let’s keep them there.
These things will continue to happen, no matter how enlightened we think we are. But it’s up to us to stick to our values and stay true to our needs. So the next time you reconsider bringing an ex back into your life, remember this:
In the wise words of Albert Einstein, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.
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About the Author: Madalyn is a Florida-born girl who has spent the last four years working and basking in the Caribbean sun. Even though she grew up dancing professionally, she is often called a “bull in a china shop” for her clumsy ways. A true lover of the outdoors and new places, Madalyn is always up for an adventure. She has a vast taste for different types of music, often getting caught dancing wherever she is. Writing has always been a passion for Madalyn, and she’s made it her personal life mission to spread the love through words by detailing the eccentricities, from the unconventional to the mundane, of a 20-something just trying to figure out this life, one adventure at a time.