Psychological Factors that Make You Fall in Love with Coworkers

why we fall in love with coworkers

On average, it takes about 200 hours to become best friends with someone. It’s not a surprise that many people share close bonds with their workmates. Especially if you have a regular 9-5 job, you’re likely to spend more hours with your colleagues than you do with your friends, families or even your spouses.

This makes work relationships a funny phenomenon.

About 17% of people at a workplace have someone they constantly stay in contact with also called a work spouse, with whom discuss stresses of work and even hang out with them.

Total Jobs conducted research recently, according to which 22% met their romantic partners at their workplace, while 13% met online, 18% met through mutual friends and only 10% on a night out.

David Brudö, CEO and co-founder of the mental well-being app Remente says that many adults spend a minimum of 1,680 hours per year in the office, so they are likely to spend more time with their coworkers than almost anyone else.

Although they do not have a say in which their coworkers are, there are chances that they will likely find those with common interests. He also stated that working in an office gives you the opportunity to get to know someone in a way that you don’t manage to as easily on picture swipe dating apps.

By working with someone everyday, you notice how they respond to a problem, act under pressure, and interact with others around with equal or different calibers.

It becomes easy to share personal information and discussing difficulties faced in the office or outside, perhaps over a lunch break or after work drinks.

While many people think work and romance should not be mixed, around two third majorities voted otherwise during a survey conducted in the UK. This majority out of 5795 people agreed that they will be up for dating a colleague.

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Monogamy may not be the best for your relationship

Among several people, there’s a fair amount of dilemma attached to dating someone at your office, which is probably the reason why 76% of people surveyed said they would keep their workplace romance a secret.

There is a traditional rule that you should not date your coworker. There are many reasons for this like risk of losing your job, becoming uncomfortable at work, or creating drama which could hurt your professional reputation.

Another reason knows that if the relationship does not work out, it could lead to rather tarnishing consequences and can take an emotional toll on both you and the coworker you were involved with.

There are other things to take into consideration too. About 60% of people surveyed said they felt the pressure to act more professionally when they were in a relationship with someone from work, and 51% said they were concerned about rumors and gossips.

One in three people also said they were previously judged by other coworkers for their relationship, one in six was made fun of, and one in ten was discriminated against due to this.

The survey also highlighted that woman dating their manager is likely to take a career hit than a man dating their manager in terms of promotions, bonuses and salaries, as well as in relationships with other colleagues.

Close proximity pushes your boundaries

Despite these pressures, workplace relationships are relatively straight-forward. But they don’t always work out the way they are planned.  The intensity created in a work situation can be identical to the intensity we experience in sexual relationships; this might lead to mixed messages and perplexing behaviors.

Feelings of attachment and unity can cause confusion. The subconscious mind will acknowledge the connection, even if the conscious one doesn’t.

One or both the colleagues may find themselves suddenly considering the other from a sexual point of view.

Spending more time together breaks down defense walls between people faster, which don’t necessarily result in romantic intimacy. But, at times one side may loosen up too much, allowing a boundary to be crossed.

When both parties are not careful to continually rebuild boundaries to keep their relationship within a certain framework, these loopholes can lead one of them to start viewing the relationship as more than just professionally or platonically.

A coworker can easily begin to feel like a very special person in your life, romantically or otherwise.

However it is important to identify the difference between feeling closeness to someone because of the situation you are working together in, and actually falling in love with them.

Power seems sexy

There is no doubt in the fact that people are attracted to power. Due to persistent gender imbalances that lead to more men in positions of power at work, women are likely to feel more attracted to powerful men.

Psychologists however also point out that men are equally attracted to powerful women around them; this can be due to the age gap. It’s a known fact that men are forever crazy for older women.

However according to a study, nearly half of the bosses fancy a member (or, even several members) of staff. Whereas something like twenty percent of them got to act on this.

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