It is definitely not easy to let go of a loved one, the psychological pain of detaching yourself from the person is overwhelming and sometimes unbearable. But forcing yourself to go through the mental torture of being in a toxic relationship can be extremely unhealthy and might even scar you for life.
If you are still bearing along with your unhealthy relationship just to avoid an ugly confrontation, you must summon up the courage to address the elephant in the room. But how do you end a toxic relationship?
Before you break ties with the person you love, ask yourself if the relationship is serving you any good. The first step would be to determine if the relationship is actually toxic or not. You can start by making a list of the advantages and disadvantages of staying in a relationship with that person.
This will help you list out all the things that have had a positive or negative impact on your life and your relationship. Once you are done, go over the list and ask yourself if the positives outweigh the negatives, or is it the other way round? The list will help you gain clarity in making the painful decision of letting go.
The fear of hurting someone you love is a major reason why a lot of people stay in unhealthy relationships. Letting go is not easy especially when it is someone you really care about.
However staying in a toxic relationship is like limping along a racetrack, you might eventually reach the finish line, but it will be an extremely difficult and uncomfortable experience. So, what can you do to let go of a toxic relationship?
The first step is to acknowledge that you are in a toxic relationship. You must realize that you cannot continue to make excuses for why you should remain in this situation.
Understand that it is unhealthy to keep looking for reasons or allow fear to keep you in a relationship that is clearly toxic. The reason it feels so difficult to get out of a toxic relationship is that there is an unhealthy attachment that has occurred with the person.
Instead of trying to mold yourself according to the adverse situations, you need to get digging and try to get to the root of the issue.
There are a lot of reasons why most people are reluctant to break off a toxic relationship. Hence, the most important step is determining what is really keeping you tied to that person.
Is it a fear of being alone? Is it the fear of starting all over? Is it the fear of accepting that despite giving so much time and love to someone, they are still not able to reciprocate the same feelings?
Whatever fear it is, the only way out of the toxic relationship is to face that fear and resolve it.
If you are still debating the idea of letting go of an unhealthy attachment, you are actually depleting yourself psychologically. Stop waiting around for that person to change because it is never going to happen.
The earlier you accept the fact that you cannot change a person, the easier it will be to get out of that relationship. The best approach is to stop clinging onto the past and look forward to what lays ahead.
Now that we have understood how to identify toxic relationships, the next step is to practically implement the art of letting go. Before you confront the other person, have a practice conversation with yourself.
It would be extremely disrespectful to just walk up to the person and humiliate them for being the cause of a dysfunctional and unhealthy relationship. What you also do not want to do is ghost the other person.
Make sure that you always remain respectful and honest. Try to have a healthy conversation with the person, an excellent approach would be to point out a few positive things about them before easing into the more difficult part of the conversation.
Once you have eliminated the toxicity out of your life, it is time to focus on the present. Nothing substantial comes out of dwelling in the past. Moving on is one of the most difficult things to do but remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Try to forgive the other person, this might feel like hard work, but it will reap fruitful results for your peace of mind. Granting forgiveness will cleanse your mind and soul from all the harbored negativity for that person. Be empathetic and try to look at the situation from their perspective as well.
Try surrounding yourself with positive people, this will speed up the healing process. Positivity is contagious, it will not only help you break free from the emotional baggage of your previous relationship, but also provide an excellent opportunity for personal growth. This is your chance to start off with a clean slate, you can now focus all your energies towards uplifting yourself and achieving your goals. Remember, the world is your oyster.
Following these steps will hopefully help you transition from your previous relationship. At the same time, ensure that you do not end up in another unhealthy relationship. Because for some people toxic relationships is a cycle, they come out of one and get into another.
Contemplation can go a long way in breaking this cycle of unhealthy relationships. Sometimes, the change needs to come from within ourselves. If you feel like every relationship that you have been in has worsened over time, the unhealthiness might be starting within you.
There is no need to feel bad or beat yourself about this. Just be willing to face the issue and change yourself for the better. As they say, “Introspection is the first step towards self-improvement.”
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