It isn’t the end of the world to be shy, but life certainly gets difficult due to it. Situations that are usually tied to lack of self-confidence or low self-esteem might seem quite “normal” for an average person.
However events like going for a job interview or speaking in front of people, seems rather daunting, and even terrifying to a shy person.
There is no exception when it comes to shyness in dating either. The stakes are set even higher in this social situation due to risk of rejection, and the anxiety attached to it can even force a shy person to opt out of the entire dating experience altogether.
But living in fear is not a way you should live, and there are ways to overcome shyness. Let’s have a look at a few of them;
Begin with small steps
Precise and less personal interactions with little if not none, possibility of rejection will help you get a head start.
Start saying hello to someone you pass by in the street, or briefly talk to someone at work whom you don’t normally talk to, this will help you get your feet wet.
Get over the mindset that most people are rude and mean, and try to seem approachable yourself. Eventually you will realize that people are actually nicer than you assumed and you’ll start enjoying social interactions more.
Work on your eye contact
It’s one of the most essential components of body language, especially in dating. Even though at times it might feel quite uncomfortable to maintain eye contact with certain people, but overcoming this aspect will actually help you to connect with people on a personal level.
Start this by practicing with your friends, and note the level of comfort, understanding and calm that you will feel when you look at each other without any judgement.
You can also practice it casually by holding your head up while you’re walking down the street; you just have to practice making eye contact with strangers for a few brief seconds and maybe even smile at a few. People tend to smile back which makes you more confident and warm.
Move Out of the Comfort Zone
Shy people are usually known for limiting themselves and coming up with excuses as to why they should or shouldn’t experience or practice certain things.
Life is about adventures and ambiguity rather than maintaining the safety of staying in the same box all the time. You have to stretch out of your comfort zone, a little bit at a time.
You may be completely against attending a singles party or dance in your entire lifetime, maybe because you felt it would make you uncomfortable.
The only way to get rid of the phobia is to get over it somehow, so you should go with a friend or someone you feel comfortable around and check what’s the fuss about.
Keep your mind open and stay determined on the fact that you’re ready for a change, no matter how big or how small.
Look Around and Observe
What do your colleagues or friends do in similar situations? What do they say and how do they act?
By observing others engaged in non-shy behavior and doing things that would normally freak you out, you’ll start to get a gist of what’s expected of you and what’s the best possible solutions to get out of stressful moments.
It’s not bad to learn from others and imply it in your life. It will only make you better at conversations and interactions.
But don’t just do what others are doing. Take a moment to see if it’s even affective or not and whether if the other person welcomes it.
Let Go of yourself
Stop thinking and start doing. While analyzing your every move, and dwelling over your thoughts and feelings, you skip over the good part of life, that is experiencing! Loosen up and accept that it’s ok to feel awkward, and that everyone feels it one time or the other.
No one is born perfect. Everyone has doubts and insecurities but we learn to overcome them by time. This is what you should tell yourself everytime you’re stuck in such a situation. After all we’re only human.
The other person is not God
Know that you’re interacting with a human too. They might have their own likes dislikes or priorities. Just because they don’t agree with you over something doesn’t mean you have no chance of being with them.
Try to accept disagreements and put down your own perspectives. Stay calm during both. This will not only make conversation but you will be more confident and comfortable while expressing your own thoughts.
To approach someone, you don’t have to be perfect or have six packs. Personality is what matters the most.
Build your personality and intellect in a way that you don’t bore people or bring them in an uncomfortable zone around you.
Try opening up with friends and practice loud impromptu speaking when alone which will help you prepare for such situations and build up your confidence!