When it comes to sex, there are a lot of different opinions on when the appropriate time to have sex for the first time is. A majority of people will pin the desire to wait to have sex until after marriage on their religious belief, but there are other reasons beyond religion that helped me make and keep my decision to wait for my first time until after I was married.
Here are five reasons I waited for sex after marriage, and it was the most beautiful decision of my life.
How many of you can remember your first time having sex? Do you remember the person you shared that moment with? Giving your virginity to someone is a big deal and something that you will remember for the rest of your life.
After watching several of my friends lose their virginity and almost immediately have the relationship crumble around them, I realized that the person I was going to give myself must be someone incredibly special. And I knew that chances are, this person would be the man I ended up marrying.
Deciding to wait for something that you desire is not an easy one, but I knew that I would be happier if I decided to wait for sex until marriage (no matter how badly I wanted to drink from that fountain). I knew that I would not be happy with myself and would be disappointed if I did not end up waiting. It takes a lot to have enough self-respect for yourself to know what you want and to not compromise that – no matter how tempting at the moment.
Another big lesson I learned from watching my friends is that there is value to be had in having only one sexual partner (especially one that has also only had one sexual partner). By walking into marriage knowing that both of you are virgins and STD free, you are giving yourself the security to know that you are not risking your health to have sex with someone. There is truth to the whole, “When you sleep with someone, you’re sleeping with every other person they have slept with.”
Waiting until marriage adds an element of mystery to the wedding night. Now, I am not saying that my husband and I walked into our marriage having not explored our sexuality through other means (I mean you have to know if there is chemistry there).
However, it was nice to know that once the wedding reception was over, we were going to have a party of our own. It gave my husband and me something to look forward to on the honeymoon.
Having sex takes practice, and it takes time to get to know your significant other’s body. Often couples that have sex before marriage tend to fizzle out after the wedding. By waiting to have sex until after we were married, my husband and I were starting a new journey of exploration and adventure.
It provided us with a new way of getting to know each other without having the pressure of “waiting” anymore. It is always exciting to find new things that your significant other enjoys in the bedroom, and I found myself wanting to come up with new ways to make him happy in that manner.
No matter the reason for deciding to wait to have sex, everyone’s journey is different. Some people believe in waiting until marriage while other people believe that sex is necessary to determine compatibility with your significant other. No matter your belief, everyone’s journey is individual to them and should be respected.
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