Sending your children away from you to study or for them to get a better job is very difficult for parents who are overly attached to their children. To be honest, every loving parent is overly attached to their kids but for the kids it is the other way around. As your kids are growing up, they start building a self-esteem and an image for others, so they tend to limit your reach in their personal space.
We all did this when we were growing up, we locked ourselves up just so we can maintain our personal space, because, parents never understand that their child needs space. They just barge in with confidence, thinking of their child as a 5 year old.
When someone whom you love goes far from you, a whole is created inside your heart, an empty space needing the care and love from the other person. We usually fail to understand that when people go far from us to live their lives, to study or to work, they are open to new beginnings and they get busy with life.
You just can’t expect your child to call you every day and talk for hours and hours.
Everyone moves on with there sooner or later, we just tend to ignore growth of others when we are being selfish with our emotions. Parents usually are always in for giving their child all the love he/she requires, but when it comes to care of their children, they can be very selfish. Which I think is something very beautiful and natural.
Long distance Parenting Tips:
Communication is the key
We understand that everyone gets busy with their lives. Especially when someone is trying hard to adjust in a new city with new people. We, as parents, should realize that our children need emotional support during this period. People get impulsive and outrageous when something like this happens.
They tend to think that their child has forgotten the love and care. We should realize that it is not easy to manage hour long video calls when you have school and work together. We all know the pressure colleges impose on kids these days, so we should let them be.
Try to make a routine with your child. Like call them on weekends, or just text them to eat. Text them to remind them about laundry or other things which you must know that they will always forget. This way, you’re still touching the heart and showing your care.
If you want to hear their voice or see their face, try to call them on weekends. Call when they are free and have nothing much to do. Call them to check up on them and talk your heart out.
Send gifts and surprises
This is the oldest remedy in the book of love to remind your lover of your care and devotion. Gifting someone is beautiful and receiving it is more beautiful. Your heart is filled with joy when a parcel arrives from a person you love and they have gifted you something of your need very thoughtfully.
This can touch someone’s heart on the highest level of love. Thinking if things which your child needs is not that difficult. You can listen to them keenly and list down the things they need and don’t have the time or resources to get them. Send them a letter with a thoughtful message which would help them in hard times.
Always be ready to listen to their pep-talk
Yes, this can be annoying and hard. We might not get what kids these days talk about nor might we find interest in similar things. However, listening is key to develop mature relationship with children. When they are telling your irrelevant things which you have no interest in, just listen and try to comprehend their situation.
Always help them out when you find them in a tough spot. Always be there for them. Be the person they know that will listen to them as they talk their heart out.
If you find something is disturbing them, advise them and tell them how life is going to be tough. Comprehend their problems and help them make responsible decisions.
Learn what they are up to these days
Everyone has a lot going on in their life. You can’t always survive with the usual talk. There’s not much to ask about the weather, it might interest you but your kids aren’t interested in that. Knowing their heart is important since kids go through a lot in their early 20’s. Ask them about who they like and what kind of friends they have.
Listen to their stories. Note down the prominent people they name and like to talk about. Give them relationship advice. Tell them how to cope up with work and studies altogether. Check out these positive parenting techniques when raising teenagers.
Your wisdom is what they really need right now. I wish my parents would’ve told me that night shifts are going to make my grades suffer and I should try not to exhaust myself. That would’ve been great.
Don’t invade their privacy and understand them
Everyone likes their own privacy. They all have their own problems and everyone has their own nature. Some people are quite open about their problems, however, some people don’t like to share their problems. You should understand their problems and try to let them be on their own.
Experiences is the best teacher, so let them learn to deal with difficulties on their won. Asking for personal space isn’t much to ask for. It is like a basic need of life, whenever you have things you wouldn’t like to talk about. We all have been there and we know how irritating it gets when people try to invade your privacy and try to impose their own experiences on you.
Be there for them emotionally than trying to be on the physical
This is something all parents need to note down and take seriously. We have seen how college students have been committing suicide and going through several issues. We need to be there for them emotionally. Telling that you miss them is okay, but once a person is far from you, he or she should not feel as if they can’t help you.
Don’t share your problems with them, they already have a lot going on. Don’t burden them emotionally, let them loosen up a bit.