Usually, people think that they are the happiest in a relationship. And when they are not in one, they feel like something is missing from their life and they cannot be truly genuinely happy.
A psychologist stated at the American Psychological Association’s annual convention in Denver that staying single is better for humans. Professor Bella DePaulo thinks that while being single, people can be their most authentic self and follow their dreams. She does not agree with the statement, that marriage gives people a happier and healthier life.
There have been many types of research around this topic. It turns out that the ones who stay single are more focused on themselves than the one in a marriage. This means that single people are more determined in self-development and growth. It is very common that people, who have been together for a long time, forget about their self and start to think about themselves as half of the couple.
It is important to devote a chance to learning new things and growing as a person, not just as a couple. Single people are more critical of their work, which means that have high expectations and they do not accept environment or tasks they are not happy with. Studies have shown that married people are much more acquiescent and do not take action when they are not satisfied with work.
The ratio between married and single has changed over the last years.
The numbers by the Office for National Statistics show that last year there were 23.7 million married people and 16.2 million single people living in the UK. In 2002, there were 23 million married people, but 12.5 million single ones. This statistic demonstrates that being single has become more popular over time.
In the old times being single was a terrible thing. People judged you because of that. Girls, who were not married by their twenties and did not have babies were considered losers. People instantly thought that something was wrong with them. Fortunately, nowadays things are different, and you can be single in our society without any judgment.
Single people can focus more on their career and work. They also have more time for their friends and family, and the research has shown, that singles are usually closer to their families and friends.
When a couple gets married, they often stop going out with friends that much or find time to hang out with their co-workers. They isolate themselves from others and spend most of the time just together. That is the easiest and most comfortable solution for them.
It is wrong to think that single people feel lonely or upset about it. Most of them are single by choice, which means that they could have someone, but they choose to focus on other things in life. And that is perfectly okay. Single people are very independent, and they do exactly what they like.
Being single means, you do not always have to consider the other person. This means doing only the hobbies you like, meeting up with your friends and watching the movies you are interested in. Usually, married people don’t have the same taste, which means each of them must compromise from time to time. This means that if one of them wants pizza, but the other one wants Chinese food, then one has to suppress their wish.
The psychologist DePaulo hopes that our society will, even more, start to value singles and their ability to be enough for themselves. Other people should not feel sorry for them because they can design their life as they want.
DePaulo thinks that singles can be happier and healthier than married people because they have the time and energy to focus only on themselves and their needs. So next time you dream about getting married, think twice.
Featured Image: Huffington Post