There are many ways to abuse someone emotionally. Have you ever experienced a pathological lying, cunning, narcissistic partner?
If yes, then you might be a victim of emotional abuse.
It is important to know that an abusive relationship might be happening between boyfriend and girlfriend, husband and wife and even among just friends, family members, and co-workers.
At first, everything may seem perfect – your partner is a charming and lovely person, and you feel like you are in heaven. This all might just be a facade, which may fall eventually. It is very common for the abuser to accuse the other person of being crazy and overreacting.
And they might convince you that the problem is only in your head and you must get over it.
An abuser wants to have control over the partner. They want to make the other one emotionally weak and dependent on them. They take away their confidence by saying they are worth nothing without them. The victim is left without self-worth and courage.
The abuser creates an atmosphere of fear, instability, and intimidation. He or she is very dominant and can be very insulting, sarcastic and unloving.
Look out for these following things, because if you are experiencing any of it, it is very likely that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship yourself:
1. Accusing and Blaming
The abuser makes everything the victim’s fault and accuses him/her of everything that goes wrong or is not perfect in their lives.
The victim starts to feel guilty even if it is not reasonable.
2. Punishing by Withholding
The abuser does not respect the victim and does not listen to him/her. The abuser ignores any questions or statements and gives the silent treatment. He/she likes to punish the victim by not showing approval, appreciation, affection, thoughts, feeling and not sharing information with the victim.
This way he/she gets control.
3. Blocking and Diverting
The abuser does not take the victim seriously – he/she twists their words and does not care about conversations.
He/she might walk away whenever he/she wants.
4. Contradicting
The abuser likes to disapprove EVERYTHING the other one says. He uses pointless arguments to make the victim feel that they are always wrong – whatever they say. He/she makes the victim feel less confident to express their opinion.
5. Discounting
When the victim tries to talk to the abuser about it, he/she denies it and tells the victim that he/she is overly emotional and hypersensitive. He/she might also say they the person is crazy or imagines things.
The abuser can disfigure the truth and make one mistrust the reality of the situation.
6. Disparaging Jokes
It often seems like a joke, but it actually might be verbal abuse. The abuser teases, ridicules and humiliates the victim with sarcastic remarks. He/she makes comments about appearance, personality, abilities, values. The abuser goes even this far that makes comments in front of the victim’s friends and family.
When one tells them to stop, they just say not to be so sensitive.
7. Judging and Criticizing
The abuser might say that he/she only gives constructive criticism, but it is harsh and unfair. This makes the victim feels even less confident and less worthy.
8. Forgetting
The abuser “accidentally” forgets the things the victim asks them to do. For example, pick up dry cleaning or buy tickets to the movies. One can never count on them. The abuser might even go that far to forget the partner’s birthday.
With this, he/she shows control over time and reality.
Other non-verbal symptoms show abusing. For example, refusing to talk or making eye contact. Rolling eyes and frowning while having a conversation. The abuser might kick something or drive reckless to scare the victim.
They can also interrupt, ignore or refuse to listen.
It is also very common for abusers to distort the victim’s words and to play a victim themselves.
So, seriously think about the relationship you are in and make sure you are not experiencing ANY of these symptoms. A relationship should be all about trust, safety, and comfort. If it is the opposite – end it while you have not been emotionally damaged.
And look out for your close ones as well – they might put up a high cover, but make sure that everything is fine in their relationships as well.
