Being spoiled and spoiling your kids is a new era problem. Before, people did not have enough money nor possibilities to give their child everything they want and more. Nowadays we like in a much wealthier era, and it is quite common for even 5-year-olds to be running around with the newest iPhone or iPad.
Parents are thinking that giving their child everything they want will make them happy. Of course, at first the child is happy, but when you value happiness with material things, you always need to have more. So they might be grateful for the newest piece of technology, but in a month they will want something new. If the child is used to of getting what she/he wants, they become very disappointed if one day you decide to act reasonable and say no.
They will start to think that love is measured in things and if one day you do not give them the thing they want, you do not like them anymore.
So what does spoiling mean? The definition says that “spoiling is to harm the character of a child by being too lenient or indulgent.” Sometimes it is tough for a parent to stay true to them. For example, when you are in a grocery store after a long and tiring day at work. Your child begs for candy or chocolate bar, and even though you might have a rule that says candy is only allowed on the weekends, it is easier and quicker for you just to buy the candy than to start arguing and making a scene at the store.
This is really wrong in the long run because your children will get the idea, which they get everything they want. This makes them lazy, arrogant and spoiled. Even if you think you make your kid happy for a while, it teaches him/her the wrong values.
And after all, a successful parent is not the one who can make their child the happiest or buy him/her the most stuff. Being a good parent means doing the best you can in your child’s interest. It means being reasonable and sometimes tough, but always fair. This teaches the child the right kind of values. For example, at times it is not the best for them to have a whole pack of candy, even if that would make them happy. You understand the point, right?
All the parents want to show their unconditional love to their kids. It is so important that they find time to play and have fun with them, despite their busy schedules. Children need to learn to communicate and show affection with words and with doing deeds, but not through material things.
Otherwise, it can become a dead circle. Parents work their asses off to afford things their children do not need, but what will make them happy (at least for a while). Because of that, they will not have any time to spend with their kids, and they try to make it up by buying, even more, stuff their children do not need.
Remember, life is not about possessions, it is about people and time spent together. If parents show their love through things, the kids will learn that showing love means giving material things.
Sometimes parents need to make decisions, that might make the child angry. As a parent you cannot always be their friend, you must know what the best and healthiest choice for them is. When they get a bit older, they will understand your point of view.
Giving in and spoiling your kid is always the easier road, but it will not pay off. So as a parent, do what is right and teach your child the right kind of values. Show them that love does not equal a new piece of clothing or a new pair of sneakers. Real love is unconditional and lasts longer than any material thing.