People Like You Based on These 7 Things, According to The Head of FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program

Making a good impression on people you meet can be quite challenging. There are a lot of questions like how to get on the same level with them? what to talk about?

The most important thing is to find things in common and create trust.

Robin Dreeke, who was the head of the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Program, knows how to get people to like you. He also wrote a book called It’s Not About “Me”: The Top Ten Techniques for Building Quick Rapport with Anyone.

1. Forget Prejudices and Be Emphatic

Put yourself in the other person’s shoes and try to understand their point of view. Also always consider the fact that you do not know their whole story – so don’t judge them. The most important thing to do is to listen. You do not need to agree with everything they say, but you need to make the conversation feel safe – nobody wants to feel judged.

Show interest in them, because people love to talk about themselves and that helps to keep the conversation going.

2. Forget Your Ego

Most people like to point out others’ faults and wrongdoings. Stop correcting others and stop being a smart-ass, because then nobody will open themselves up to you. Ego can stand in the way of building relationships and can make the other feel uncomfortable.

This is definitely not the way to go if you want to get people to like you.

3. Listen Carefully

The biggest mistake that most people do is thinking about what they are going to say next and what the other person thinks about them. This means that they are not actually focusing on the conversation and are not fully there. The best advice is to pay attention to the conversation and do not worry so much. What helps to keep the conversation going is curiosity – ask questions and interact lively.

The basics of active listening include:

• Not interrupting nor disagreeing
• Nodding your head and making small comments like “yes” and “uh-huh”
• Repeating back the gist of what they just said (means that you are paying attention)
• Asking questions to move the discussion forward

4. Ask Questions

People like to feel important and asking their advice or opinion makes them feel so. Also this is a great way to show that you care what the other person thinks and want to develop the conversation forward. Asking questions can be incredibly powerful way of getting someone to like you.

5. Have Only a Little Time

When you need to talk to strangers, tell them you only have a couple of minutes and that you are in a hurry. When people know that the conversation is about to end soon, they relax. Also, people are more likely to cooperate and help you if they are feeling safe and relaxed.

This way there is a bigger possibility to get what you want.

6. Know Your Body Language

First thing to remember is to smile. This is the most important thing when talking to strangers. Smile engenders trust and people are more willing to open themselves up to you. Secondly, keep your chin down so it doesn’t look like your looking down your nose at someone. And also tilt your head a bit, which makes you feel kinder and friendlier.

Do not stand to someone with full body display – it is better to give a bit of an angle so it won’t come off as offensive to some.

Keep your palm up, because this shows your openness to new ideas. In conclusion, always be genuine and calm – this way you are sending out only positive vibes.

7. Be Straightforward and Honest

If you feel that someone is trying to manipulate you ask them directly what is their aim? what do they want to achieve?

Firmly find out what their goals are. Do not act hostile or rude, because then they won’t be honest with you. Remember that if you want to build a connection, do not focus on tricks, but focus on trust. Only this way you can really earn respect.

Studies have shown that the feature people mostly value in others’ is trustworthiness.

What to Remember:

• Most important thing is empathy. Try to see their point of view and don’t judge others.
• Focus on them and forget your ego.
• Listen carefully and be curious (that shows your interest in them).
• Establish a time constraint early in the conversation with strangers (that will relax them).
• Smile and show friendliness with your body language (open palms, chin down, avoid compressing lips and eyebrows).
• If you feel that you are being manipulated, do not act hostile, but instead try to clarify their goals – be honest and straightforward.

These are the most important things that Robin, the FBI’s Behavior Expert, points out. It is strange how so little details can have such a huge effect on the whole conversation. So next time you meet a new person, try to keep in mind these points and you will easily make a new friend or establish an important connection.

Featured Image: GQ