“Would you like to move in with me?”
Your internal alarm sets off, ‘It’s too early. You both have a long way to go before jumping into serious commitments. Don’t give him the wrong idea. Take it slow.’
“Yes, it sounds like a great idea. We can bond well that way.”
And that’s how you spend the rest of your night. You’re overthinking more than necessary. This was the first time you had been so happy in a relationship for a long time. The guy is decent, caring, and oh-so-loving. But are you prepared?
Sometimes saying no in relationships can be difficult and quite unpleasant. You fear you might lose a great opportunity or widen the gap between you and your partner. Upsetting them is the last thing on your list. However, there are several other factors that you need to consider before deciding on a relationship.
It would be best if you recognized the power of saying “no” in relationships, whether it’s about setting personal boundaries, safeguarding your relationship for the long-term, or prioritizing your sanity and comfort. Many people, especially empaths, find it challenging not only to please their partners but also because they don’t know how to say no in relationships.
A couple of times, we resort to agreeing to our partner with the thought that what harm, at most, could come from saying “yes” this one time. Let me tell you; it is this one time that will lead to a second time and another until you will have lost the power of saying “no” in relationships.
Irrespective of the fact that you share a special bond with your partner, you need to realize the importance of setting boundaries. It not only secures your privacy but also because too much transparency and companionship with your partner can get over-powering and toxic. So even if you’ve got something beautiful, you’re going to put it at stake.
The power of saying “no” in relationships is most prominent with abusive and manipulative partners. Empaths are a target of such narcissistic ‘lovers.’ Empaths, being so good at heart, view such partners as disturbed or neglected and take it upon themselves to help them. In this kindness, empaths don’t know how to say no in relationships. You need to stand up for yourself and open your eyes to the truths lying bare in front of you. It is okay to say, “no.” It is okay to protect yourself.
In other cases, saying “no” in relationships does not mean you want to leave it. It’s just that you do not agree to a few aspects and events in the relation. You are fully entitled to refuse your partner for anything you’re not comfortable with, whether it is in bed or related to other decisions affecting both of you.
I guess many of you are aware of these points, and you even know where you’re slipping up. It’s just that no matter how much you prepare yourself, you always find yourself incapable of saying “no” in relationships. So let me help you out.
Saying no is not a sin. Remember that. When you internalize this fact, only then will you understand its importance. Next is how you’re going to convey it to your partner, so here we go.
Have you ever heard about the coin trick where you assign heads to one thing and tails to another? You know, it’s an amazing way to make a difficult decision. The moment when the coin is in the air is when you decide what you want.
Just like that, before saying “yes” or “no” in a relationship, your heart already makes the decision. If you’ve got to argue with your intuitions to make a decision, you are probably on the wrong track. If you feel uneasiness and only partial consent to any opinion, it’s most likely because you ignored your gut feeling.
So you’ve got a pretty good idea that the response you’ll receive is not going to be a pleasant one. You’re either going to get a rejected look or maybe an angry response. You need to realize that you might have upset your partner, but it still does not mean that you give in to their requests.
Also, anticipating the response enables you to conform to your words accordingly. You’ll know how to approach your partner and handle the response.
Be mindful that saying “no” in relationships is not just that two-letter word. How you get your opinion through can also make a significant difference. You need to know how to say no in relationships without coming off as rude and inconsiderate.
Firstly, you could say something like, “Don’t you think it would be better if we get to know each other better before living together?” You see how it’s open to discussion and not a terse reply. The ball is now in his court. By this approach, you have also included your partner in the discussion related to both of you.
Mostly, your decision to say “yes” roots from your desire to please your partner. It seems like a sensible and logical mindset, but then again, as the saying goes, “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” Ensure that you invest in yourself enough to be able to cater to your partner’s requests.
Never feel entitled to present a justification until asked for neither do you need to apologize profusely. Saying “no” because of personal and logical reasons is nothing to feel sorry for. Also, remember if someone really loves and cares for you they’ll understand and someone who doesn’t, won’t
These little things can also provide you warning signs in a relationship that you shouldn’t ignore. So start setting up those boundaries and tend to your personal needs because if you don’t think about yourself, who will?
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