We all want to be happy, especially in relationships. But sometimes, when we’ve fallen head over heels for the wrong person, it’s hard to see the danger signs.
Internal indications of an unpleasant partnership can be easy to ignore. That’s because of the need for love.
It overpowers emotional intelligence.
Each person can speak up with honest dialogue without fear. They can set healthy boundaries by being supportive and respectful of each other’s privacy.
The opposite manifests in unfavorable relationships. Toxic unions are void of conducive qualities. What’s worse is when people don’t know it.
If you’re unsure of the health of your current relationship status, continue reading. Here we discuss the top 10 telltale signs of an unhealthy relationship.
1. Subliminal Control
Control is not always accompanied by fear or force. It’s administered in relationships in subliminal ways.
Manipulation is one of them. Controllers sneakily seek out your insecurities and weaknesses. They then use them to usurp power over you without ever having to lay a hand on you.
They keep you subject to your inadequacies, then rescue you from them. In the end, they come out looking like your hero and not your controller.
2. Lack of Emotional Support
Our partnerships should be our emotional nests. They’re where we run to when we want to express our true selves — pour our hearts out.
Today, we have what’s called “work husbands” and “wives.” These are coworkers of the opposite sex that espoused people have platonic relationships with.
The problem is these are emotional relationships with other people. There may not be anything physical going on. But these coworkers become emotional support systems for people already in relationships.
If you feel comfortable confiding in someone else other than your partner, chances are your relationship is unhealthy.
3. An Unhealthy Relationship Involves Disengagement
When the both of your lack the desire to invest in your relationship, you’ve become disengaged.
You’re neither willing nor have a dire need to spend the time and energy a relationship needs to remain healthy. Arguments are few and far between.
And sometimes, the passive behavior of one party is a clear sign the partnership may be coming to a close.
4. Secret Envy
Everyone experiences jealous emotions in some form or fashion. But when you use it to control the one you love, it’s toxic and abusive.
Jealousy in a relationship can happen in many ways. One person’s career goals outgrow the other’s. The other person becomes bitter and uses jealousy to sabotage and control their partner’s life.
Another example of jealousy stems from fear. Your partner gets jealous and upset when you get calls or texts from friends of the opposite sex.
They become possessive, accusing you of affairs and other things.
5. Displacing Your Feelings
You can never express your displeasure of something in the relationship. Whenever you do, your partner accuses you of over-exaggerating.
If something bothers you, your feelings get dismissed. Or you’re accused of being overly emotional or expecting too much.
In a healthy relationship, your partner gives you space to express your feelings. And those feelings get met with respect and understanding.
It’s possible for someone to say they love you then sabotage your success at the same time.
Picking fights with you in the morning to make you late for work. Coming up with false emergencies to make you miss school or important appointments. Or even creating distractions to keep you from getting work done.
These are all ways a partner will sabotage you in a toxic relationship.
This sabotage can also extend to your reputation. They’ll share private information about you to family and friends behind your back.
Sometimes even go as far to start rumors, secretly destroying your character. The sad part is, you never see it coming.
7. They’re Too Needy
A partner who lacks self-sufficiency and drive is a danger to your well-being. You can’t save a needy person.
Everybody has a little baggage. But as you grow through life, you mature and learn how to lighten your own load.
Some people go their whole lives needing other people to help them carry their burdens. They cling to your good will, beckoning you to coddle them for everything.
When you allow yourself to become subject to someone else’s every wound, you become a hostage to their emotions.
That’s not healthy for either of you.
8. Holding onto Grudges
It’s one thing to disagree in relationships, or even have blow ups every now and then. It happens.
You’re two different personalities learning to coexist in the same space.
Danger creeps in when a partner holds on to grudges. Unforgiveness can be the death of a person and a relationship.
Forgiveness reduces anxiety and stress, creating long-lasting, healthy relationships.
9. Deflection and Projection
Deflection is when one person in the relationship finds constant ways to shift the blame.
Someone else is always the blame for their behavior. Example, they have a hard time being monogamous because of a past relationship.
All their unhealthy behavior has an excuse. When they refuse to deal with their issues, they project them onto you.
If they’re harboring anger, they find ways in arguments to make themselves feel like the one attacked and you the attacker.
10. Emotional and Physical Abuse
Abuse is the number one indicator your relationship is terrible and unhealthy. People abuse their partners in many ways.
There’s emotional abuse where the misuse is psychological. This causes you to dislike yourself more than your abuser.
Then there’s physical abuse. Your partner uses violence to keep you under their thumb. This form of mistreatment starts out with your emotions and ends in bodily harm.
There’s no such thing as a one-time abuser. If they do it once, they’ll repeat the behavior. Never stay in this type of relationship.
Let Go and Move On
An unhealthy relationship will steal your peace and keep you from obtaining true happiness in life.
Glean from these telltale signs. They’re not the end-all on relationship advice. But they’re a start to saving yourself from a life of toxicity.
Read more of our articles for additional information on love and relationships.