Darkness settles into their mind once again, and they can’t see the light; they can’t even see you anymore.
Your partner sits on one side of the bed with their head pressed against the palms with constant thoughts of turmoil and the first thing you try to do; is lend them an ear.
As a result, you continually think to yourself, how can you possibly look past these tears, fits, and emotional breakdowns? Will the relationship truly last if they can’t even talk to you about it? Why can’t I fix them?
Pain is no stranger to someone who loves a suffering soul with anxiety. Every day is a trial and every day eventually begins to feel the same.
So much so, after a while, you may start to say things you don’t even mean and that you’ve tried everything and there is nothing left for the two of you to hold on to.
So, how does someone loving a person with anxiety, really deal with the disorder itself?
1. Remember Why You Fell in Love
Many times our current situations become the sole reasons for our decisions when we do not consider or value the past nor look ahead. When you first met your partner and everything seemed alright, you fell in love with your partner for entirely different reasons. It was the way they think, the smile they have and the way they looked at you when you spoke.
You are not helping someone who has anxiety; you are supporting the person who you fell in love with.
2. Tell Them It Is Okay
For someone suffering from anxiety, it often is the case that beyond their internal conflicts, they also begin to blame themselves for what is happening to the other. On certain days, they would apologize to you, and on some, they would persistently blame themselves and tell you that you could do better.
Here is when you have to remind them that their anxiety is also what you signed up for and you are okay with it.
3. Hear Them Out
For some personalities, a partner’s anxiety overtime may seem like a burden since whatever you hear being said, is the same. Every time you want to tell them that, keep quiet. Don’t. Just listen.
4. Keep Calm
At a time, when the anxiety gets going, its conversion into a panic attack may only be a matter of minutes. For you, keep calm. Don’t add to their fear.
5. It Is Not Funny
Many personalities may feel the need to play the game of ‘reverse psychology’ with their partner’s anxiety and toss a joke in the conversation. Don’t.
In fact, if that is what you want to do, leave them.
6. Remember, They Do Trust You. They Are Just Afraid.
People with anxiety have a great sense of imagination to an extent where it feels like reality to them. It is not like they don’t trust you. They do. They just fear a moment they are imagining thinking of it to be true and this fear is making them protective of themselves.
7. Don’t Get Mad on Little Things
You may find your partner with anxiety to be repeating things, dropping things or sometimes not being focused on the food on the stove. We know you’re hungry and were looking forward to food but don’t get angry on these things. Be there. Help them in the kitchen.
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About the Author: Felicia Daly is a native New Yorker with a special interest in music, painting, and books! Lots of them. Out to explore every day, Felicia loves to sip on her coffee in a local shop by her house and work as a freelance writer.