A break-up is never easy and however much you loved that person once they’re officially an ex-partner, things can quickly go from love to hate.
One day they’re the love of your life, the next – they’re making it a living hell and you’re left wondering how you ever fell for them in the first place.
It’s usual for the phrase “psycho ex” to be uttered at least once during a break-up, but how do you know the difference between someone with hurt feelings and those who are genuine Sociopaths or Narcissists?
Signs Your Ex Was A Sociopath
Most people can be liberal with the truth when it comes to impressing someone you like, but Sociopaths have unrivaled skills of deception.
All they care about is getting what they want and are prepared to lie about anything to help them snag their prize of your affections.
It isn’t little white lies either.
Their jobs, their family, their finances even previous relationships – Sociopaths love spinning an elaborate web of lies to impress you and will go to extreme lengths to make sure they’re not found out.
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If you dated a Sociopath you probably never actually got to know the real person, just the version they presented to get you hooked.
It might be hard to spot these inconsistencies at first, but even the most skilled Sociopath will slip up eventually so be on guard for any little warning signs or things that don’t seem right.
If they seems too good to be true, he probably is.
Another red flag should be a lack of family or friendship. Sociopaths don’t value these ties and will make excuses for why they don’t have any meaningful relationships in their lives.
Even this can work to their advantage, using it to flatter you and make you think you’re the most important person in their life or try to evoke sympathy for their lonely life before you met.
Sociopaths are incapable of feeling remorse or guilt and show little or no regard for people’s feelings. They are focused on getting everything they can from people and don’t care who they hurt along the way.
For this reason, they are usually uncommonly charming and gifted at making someone feel loved and wanted, but that is only until they get what they want.
While a sociopath might not feel guilt, they’re a master at dishing it out. If anything goes wrong you can bet it won’t be their fault and somehow, they always manage to place the blame on others.
Skilled at manipulating situations to assist them, in many cases they can end up playing the victim.
Signs Your Ex Was A Narcissist
While a Sociopath doesn’t care what people think of them, a Narcissist will be overly self-obsessed.
A belief in their own physical and mental superiority, they will be vocal about their attributes and selfish in their attitude to others.
Vanity is an understatement when it comes to a narcissist whose favourite topic of conversation will be them.
Unlike a Sociopath, a Narcissist does need the approval of others and can turn nasty if they don’t get it.
They doesn’t deal with rejection well and with a complete disregard when it comes to boundaries and respect for others, can turn into a nightmare during a break-up.
Any criticism, however small, can spark an emotional response from a Narcissist who won’t be able to handle the thought of someone not sharing their high opinion of themselves.
Unable to empathise with a partner, they have no remorse over hurting people and won’t be losing sleep over the feelings of others.
Their self-belief can be a surprising asset when it comes to business due to their unbound self-confidence, but it’s destructive in a relationship.
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Like Sociopaths, Narcissists will have no problem exploiting people for their own gain, but while Sociopaths will mainly do this for fun, Narcissists usually turn on those they see as a threat.
How to break-up with a Narcissist or Sociopath
If you find yourself in the situation when you’re breaking up with either of these people, then there are ways to minimize your suffering.
Sociopaths love to play games and if they get a reaction from you, they’ll continue to entertain themselves by messing with your emotions and life. However hard it might be, the best way to get rid of them is not give them the satisfaction of a response, they’ll tire of you eventually.
For a Narcissist, their main concern is their ego, which you’ve probably bruised so try not to feed it during this time, it will only keep them coming back for more.
Try to avoid falling into any traps they might set for you in terms of getting sympathy or attention and be clear that the relationship is over.
What if they’re neither?
There is the chance that your ex-boyfriend doesn’t fall into either of these categories and is just hurt and upset by the end of your relationship.
Whether it’s a divorce or the end of a short romance, people can make stupid decisions when they lose that connection with someone and many times it is just a case of letting your heart rule your head.
If there are issues to work out like a divorce or splitting assets then sometimes it’s best to ask someone you know to mediate or appoint a professional who will be able to look at the situation objectively with a clear mind.
