When it comes to raising a daughter, there are certain things that only a mother can teach her daughter. While a grandma will have great advice on how to keep a marriage long-lasting and a sister could be too inexperienced when it comes to matters of the heart, a mother should be the person that teachers her daughter on what it means to love and to be loved.
Here are 9 things that mothers need to teach their daughters about love and matters of the heart:
1. You are good enough
It may seem like a very straight-forward idea; mothers often do not take the time to tell their daughters that they are enough. “Believing you are enough means remembering that nothing in you needs to change to be loved.”
Mothers need to teach their daughters that they do not need to change to deserve love and if someone is telling them they need to change that person is not worth her time.
2. Respect is earned not implied
Not only does this apply in romantic relationships, but it also applies to interpersonal relationships. Mothers need to teach their daughters that to receive respect, they must first show respect. “When you care for your body—feed it well, rest it well, treat it well—then you will more naturally be drawn to someone who will do the same.”
A girl that shows respect to herself first will show any potential suitor that she expects to be treated with that same respect.
3. Don’t forget yourself
Often when women get into relationships, they tend to invest too much of themselves into their other half. In doing this, women lose a sense of themselves. Mothers need to remind daughters of the importance of independence in a relationship. Daughters need to keep their interests, friends and alone time to remain true and not lose themselves.
4. Pleasure is a two-way street
This is a bit of a taboo subject as talking about sex about the joy of the woman is something that is not too often talked about. But mothers need to teach their daughters that their body is not just an object to be pursued by their partner. Daughters need to know that their body is also theirs to enjoy, explore and experience things fully. Teaching your daughter that she deserves to save and pleasurable experiences when she is ready shows her that she is in control of her sexual life.
5. Pay attention to current and potential partners
Teaching your daughter to pay attention to things current and potential partners are saying will spare her a few potential heartaches. If he says that he never wants to get married, she should know that what he is saying is probably true and should be reminded of that. Teach your daughter to pay attention to how he treats other people – if he is rude to his mother or other people, she should take note. Chances are if he is rude to his mother or even a stranger, he will be the same way with you.
Teach your daughter to pay attention to these things as they can help her make an educated decision about current and future relationships.
6. Go into a relationship for the right reasons and stay for the right reasons
Daughters need to learn from their mothers about what true love looks like. Children learn to love from the example of their parents and daughters pay especially close attention to their mothers. Daughters need to know that true love is about selflessness, generosity, and affection and if those are not present in the relationship, neither should she. If you sense that your daughter is experiencing a lack of true love in her relationship, do not wait to speak up as she could get into a crisis that might be difficult to resolve.
7. Know what you want and stay true to that
When it comes to dating, it is important to know exactly what you are looking for in a relationship. Sometimes relationships can look right on the surface, but deep down are all wrong. Teach your daughter that it is important to know what she wants and to convey them. If the issues cannot be resolved, it is important for her to know if she is not getting what she needs, she should move on.
8. Heartbreak can help
When your daughter is going through a heartbreak, she will need your advice, and shoulder, more than she ever has before. During a heartbreak, remind her that pain is okay, but to also look for the lesson. During this time, your daughter will learn more about herself than she ever has and this is your opportunity to show her how to handle a breakup with grace and dignity. During this time also take the chance to show her how to learn from previous relationships.
9. Be pursued, do not continue
It is important that your daughter knows that she should be prosecuted and not do all of the pursuing.
“Running after someone who doesn’t want to be caught could damage her dignity—and hurt her chances of finding a partner. Acting prudently, though, can only make her more desirable.”
No matter what your daughter needs to learn that, love can be a grand adventure that brings with it fun and excitement and potential life lessons.