We have all experienced depression at least once in our lives. Whether it came as a reason of loss of a loved one, a job, a failing course or a lost friend, we have been there.
The greatest thing we can do in our life is to never let anyone go through what we had to experience.
Throughout our lives, we have either been on the ‘depressed’ side of the table or the one experiencing the depression work its way through a loved one. Either way, it is not easy!
We all tackle our emotions differently therefore some of us like to speak our minds out while some bottle their thoughts inside. Either way, it is devastating.
How do I help someone with anxiety and depression?
Here are a bunch of things we should do if a loved one is depressed.
Sometimes all it takes to soothe a person is to listen to whatever they have to say; without any judgement or opinions. The feeling of being heard itself plays a very significant impact on a person’s mind.
Calling out for help is one of the most difficult things to do when you’re depressed. Make sure you pay attention to all the little hints that your loved ones drop towards you. They want you to help them but just can’t say it out loud.
Look beyond their words.
Some people are really good at hiding their emotions. Their minds can be a crazy roller coaster ride 24/7 but they won’t let you guess it. Try and look beyond their words. Their misery often comes through as jokes and they disguise themselves to be really funny.
Don’t make them revisit their pain.
We say time heals all things. In reality, it doesn’t. Time only helps you distract yourself from whatever is bothering you. All the healing in the world can only be done through our own minds. Don’t remind your loved ones about the things that caused them pain.
Be there for them.
Sometimes just knowing someone has your back can allow you to let go of all boundaries. Healing means being able to talk about your pain without feeling hurt anymore. Try to gain their trust and to assure them that no matter what happens in life, you will always stand by their side through it all.
Don’t make this about yourself
Try not to bring up your own experiences or opinions unless asked for. They do help sometimes, but it could also lead to them thinking why things aren’t working out for them like they worked out for you.
We all have our own battles to fight which we can’t compare. If they prefer not to tell you about something, it does not mean that they don’t trust you. Respect their choices and try to help however you can.
Recount their blessings
Assure them that there is more to the world than what is bothering them. Recount all the other blessings that they have in this world. Remind them of their strengths and talents which can take them forward towards a new life.
Don’t narrate their experiences in your own perspective
Chaos for the fly is home for the spider. You don’t know how they felt during their bad times. Their circumstances might not sound too bad to you but for them, they could be devastating. Do not underestimate their pain just because you had to go through much worse things in life.
Take them out
Everyone enjoys a little ‘time out’ from their everyday lives. Take them out for a movie or a lunch. Change their environment and notice the positive effects this has on their minds. Distraction is key to help anyone forget about their worries.
Don’t bad-mouth anyone that caused them pain
No matter how much they talk against a person that caused them pain, try not to bad-mouth anyone. They do not need any more negativity on their minds. Any kind of negative remark will just ignite hate into their hearts and hate can never heal.
In order to completely let go of someone, you need to accept what they did and forgive them for it. Hating anyone will constantly lead them to regret their past and add to their anxieties.
Make them feel loved
Lastly, just make them feel loved and appreciated. Reassure them that whatever they are going through will end one day and they will live through it all. They might even laugh at how stupid they were for feeling bad about things which won’t matter to them in future.
Their pain is temporary but these lessons will shape their lives. Reassure them that you will be there to help them through it all, no matter how much they push you away.
Life is not that hard, sometimes we make it hard to believe that nothing is going right in our lives. We should help people to acknowledge the good they have in life. We should help them cherish the best of their lives, make them happy for who they are. It isn’t hard to be loved or to love someone regardless of their problems. The best help comes to you when you don’t need it, be the angel for someone they have been waiting for.
Everything is this world is inevitable, some say it’s written and some say they can forge their own destinies. However, with the right amount of love and care, you can brighten their lives forever.
Remember, if Hitler even had an ounce of love and care in his heart, millions of people wouldn’t have lost their lives to his tyranny.
Make them feel better about themselves and tell them about their achievements when they are whining about their problems.