Most women live their lives with the feeling that something isn’t quite right. They struggle to focus, fail to remember important things, organize tasks, get too overwhelmed with daily routines, or struggle to meet work requirements. Many women assume they’re simply not good enough or should have tried harder. However, what if that’s not the case? Could it be something like ADHD?
ADHD in Women
When someone thinks of people with ADHD, they probably think of a hyperactive child who can’t sit still in class. However, Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition. It affects individuals of all ages. Its symptoms include inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
ADHD in women is much different from men. Girls and women with ADHD are more likely to have symptoms that include:
- Being distracted or daydreaming a lot
- Feeling restless on the inside while appearing calm on the outside
- Struggling with organization despite trying to do it
- Interrupting people, restlessly or excitedly
- Feeling like everyday activities are overwhelming
- Having trouble with social friendships
This type of behavior is less likely to be noticed than the hyperactivity that boys display. Teachers and parents are more likely to overlook these problems. Often, women grow up learning to mask their problems and blame themselves for trying to fix them.
Untreated ADHD in Female Adults
Women with undiagnosed ADHD often employ coping mechanisms that are very exhausting. For example, Sarah, a 35-year-old mother of two, had always struggled with feeling overwhelmed emotionally or having trouble focusing when it came to mundane tasks. She would start cleaning one room and move to another, leaving some tasks undone. She thought she was just that until she found out her daughter had ADHD. When she learned about some of her daughter’s symptoms, she realized that she had them too and decided to get tested for ADHD. The results of the ADHD testing confirmed that she had the disorder.
Hormones make things worse
Women go through different phases of their lives:
- Menstruation
- Pregnancy
- Perimenopause
Hormonal changes during these phases often cause symptoms to worsen in women with ADHD. For instance, the hormonal changes that occur during a woman’s period can cause ADHD symptoms. Sometimes symptoms often become worse throughout the month. Many women report feeling like they can’t focus right before their periods. Other women report feeling sad and crying, but overall, the major complaint is that they struggle to focus because of the hormonal changes throughout the month.
Social Difficulties
Women with ADHD have difficulty making and maintaining friendships and relationships. They may seem disobedient because they may become lost in thought, not listen, or interrupt when someone is talking. Some women may feel that they are dominating or “too much” for someone.
These social obstacles can include feelings of isolation or rejection. Due to this, many women with ADHD develop rejection sensitivity. This means they become upset by any perceived harm or rejection around them, even if the person rejecting them has no ill intentions.
How do I know whether I have ADHD?
A correct diagnosis is key to understanding and alleviating ADHD. Many women can feel relieved to finally know what has been causing their difficulties in life for so long. This helps them understand that they are not simply unwilling to learn new things, participate in games, or are broken. Rather, their brains work differently. If you think you might have ADHD, you need to get an ADHD test. Now, you can consult an online psychiatrist for ADHD testing from the comfort of your home.
Generally, the ADHD testing process involves the following steps:
- Comprehensive psychological evaluation
- Gathering information about your symptoms in different areas of your life (e.g., school, college, work life)
- Ruling out other medical or mental conditions (e.g., PCOD, nutritional deficiency, anxiety)
- Understanding how hormones affect your symptoms
- Considering your childhood and your adulthood transition
Strategies for Coping with Adult ADHD
While we know all of these, let’s just start by taking baby steps towards them. These are some very simple practices that you can use and that have worked for some people, and they have gotten the results:
- Better Sleep Quality:
Restful sleep is essential, not an alternative coping skill. Lack of sleep not only exacerbates every symptom of ADHD but also significantly reduces the level of positive emotions and outlook. Try making this a part of your daily routine.
If you sometimes struggle to sleep, consider blackout curtains or a sleep mask. These simple changes will significantly improve your focus and mood with time.
- A Simple Setup, No Perfection:
Don’t get too caught up in perfection. Start small, focusing on organizing just one item, like keeping pens in a drawer or tidying up your purse. Set a specific place for everything. The easiest way to keep your things in their place is to create a simple system. Get a timer and schedule assignments. Even 15 minutes of organizing will do the trick.
- Write It All Down:
You can’t count on your memory for everything. Having one place, whether a notebook or an app, to store all the information is the best way to keep everything in one place. Write down anything that pops into your head. Write down events, objects, and ideas as they come. This will save you from the frustrating feeling of abandoning something you agreed on. Here, again, don’t try to be perfect as you prepare your schedule or while writing.
- Small Steps:
Too big a task is just too overwhelming. Break it down into smaller chunks. Instead of trying to do too much and clean the entire house, focus on small tasks such as cleaning the kitchen counter. Getting the easy tasks done will help you tackle the big tasks.
- Emotional Regulation:
Most women with ADHD tend to feel overwhelmed with every concern (e.g., working on a small task, going out with a friend, etc.). When you feel yourself becoming overwhelmed as you work on a solution, pause. Take 3 deep breaths. Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?” It could be a glass of water, a sandwich, some fresh air, or maybe a nap.
- Support System:
Talk to other women going through the same thing. There are support groups for women with ADHD, either in the form of a WhatsApp group or local groups where you can get some insight, advice, or share your story to feel less lonely.
- Professional Help:
For women who suspect they may have ADHD or are unsure, ADHD testing for the condition can lead to a more accurate diagnosis and following effective therapy. This can also reduce the burden of self-blame.
Managing ADHD often involves a combination of other approaches, such as:
- Medications (stimulant and non-stimulant)
- Behavioral interventions, including training for family members
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (i.e., cognitive restructuring, impulse control techniques, etc.)
- Psychoeducation for the family and patient
- Skill-based strategies (i.e., develop a plan that fits your lifestyle)
Prescribed medication (in mild to severe cases) can help them concentrate better and work better with others. The therapy process helps them regulate their emotional reactions to living with an undiagnosed condition for so long. Therapy is sometimes also used to address anxiety or depression that often accompany ADHD.
The most important thing to remember is that ADHD is not a deficiency or a weakness. It’s a neurological difference that can be managed with education, intervention, and support. Every woman deserves to feel understood, encouraged, and empowered to achieve her full potential.
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