Dear Young Mothers,
I see you out there, juggling your strollers, car seats and two children. I see how tired you are and yet excited to be a part of this thing called motherhood. I know that you are doing everything in your power to be a “good mom” and you often second guess yourself because of all moms no matter how experienced they are, do as well.
I see you working hard to be perfect. You want your children to grow up in a happy and healthy environment, to improve on the things your mom did not get right and to enhance the things she did. Your ultimate goal is to be the perfect modern mother – house clean, laundry done and a hot meal on the table.
You want to be the best mom you can while keeping everything perfect – that is the ultimate goal is it not?
And trust me, I understand you because I too wanted to be the perfect young mother.
There is so much pressure out there for moms to have everything put together which drives you towards pushing yourself harder than your mom did and harder than your grandma ever had to. The expectations out of moms these days are much higher than they ever have been.
But I want you to know that I see you.
I see you working hard to give your children a better life than you ever had. I know that you keep yourself up at night thinking of all of the things you did not finish the day before and all of the things that you will have to do the next day. You replay things over and over in your head until you decide just to promise yourself that you will do better tomorrow.
But life never goes the way we want it to, does it? The dog ate up your sons only pair of sneakers, and you ran out of milk while making breakfast and that you are not sure if the stain on your shirt is old or new, but you do not have time to change before leaving for the day.
And after all of that, you feel like a failure.
You’re afraid that someone will find out that you lost your patience with your child because they were unruly, or you let the dishes go unclean in the sink because you just ran out of time.
You also ask if all of these other women can keep their lives in order, why do you struggle to do something that others make look so dull? Why is it that the blogger that you read always seems to have her children well put-together with matching outfits and perfect little pigtails? Or why does that mom in your sons class look like she has the body of a model when you know she is just as busy as you are?
Without meaning to, you are comparing your parenting skills to the young mothers around you. And I want you to know that I see you.
I see you trying to be the best young mother you possibly can be for your children. I see you going above and beyond for your child because he wanted the yellow shirt instead of the red one. I see you putting the needs of your children above your own needs because you do not want your children to be without.
And, young mothers, I want you to know something.
You ARE among good young mothers.
I know there are days where things will not go the way you planned, and you will be frustrated beyond all belief. You may even yell at your child when maybe a stern warning would have been the better choice. But I want you to remember that, despite all of that, you are among good young mothers.
There is no such thing as the “perfect mother” and to put so much pressure on yourself to be perfect is not necessary. Your purpose as a mother is to love your children as much as you can enjoy them. Only you will know what your child needs and will know how to meet their needs. Only you can make them feel better with your hugs and kisses.
And only you will be called mom by your children.
So please remember, that no matter what you are thinking about yourselves, you are among good young mothers and that is something to be proud of.
A Mother, S.