Before you had kids, you didn’t know where your mommy coworkers were always running off to; you didn’t understand why their eyes resembled Rocky Balboa’s; you even use to wonder what happened to their fashion sense.
But then you became one of them, and now, not only do you understand that those Rocky eyes are due to night after night of hardly any sleep, and making sure you leave the house with pants is a chore, but you recognize that you have fully transformed into a working mom.
Here are 13 signs that you transformed into a working mom:
1. Your business shirt has peanut butter hand prints on it
You were so proud of yourself looking presentable at work with your black button-up business shirt, but little Jonny loves peanut butter, and after breakfast, he wanted his morning hug.
You couldn’t resist, even though you were already running late. It wasn’t until you arrived to work that you noticed an imprint of Jonny’s peanut butter claws on your stomach.
2. Your secretary is on a first-name basis with your child’s daycare/school nurse
You never know when you will receive that dreaded phone call from your child’s daycare/school informing you that your little tyke has a fever of 101.4, but your secretary is so used to it, she tells you that Lisa is on line 3—again.
3. Weekends become hazy memories of catching up on all the crap you neglected to do at home during the week
You laugh at coworkers who tell you that they are going to have a lovely, relaxing weekend because you know your weekend will consist of taming your tornado of a house, folding endless piles of laundry, grocery shopping for the week, and cutting cardboard for the science fair project. Before you know what hit you, your alarm is ringing, and it’s Monday morning.
4. You have no sick days left because you used them all on your kids
Forget it if YOU have a cold; you used your last five sick days on Jonny’s chicken pox. In fact, you hadn’t used any sick days on yourself since before Jonny was born.
Instead, those days were utilized for all the illnesses kids pick up at school: the flu, hand and foot, strep, pink eye, you name it, and you have probably stayed home with it—yuck!
5. You look forward to going to the bathroom at work
One of the most significant perks of the job is that you get to pee without an audience. You value this alone time and love the fact that you can shut the door.
6. On the way to work, you try to put the baby toy keys into the ignition
You are in such a daze from transitioning from the crazy morning routine to career mode that your mind can get a bit scrambled. So scrambled that it takes you a while to notice that those clunky plastic keys do not fit into the ignition and are not going to get you anywhere.
7. Your to-do list reads something like—conference call, buy Pull-Ups, write report, and find Elmo
Your never-ending to-do list is a cacophony of work and home tasks that seem to blend like a bad acid trip.
8. You have become a pro at working with one hand
At home, you have your household duties, but you also have never-ending work duties like emailing, researching, and making phone calls.
That is why when you are holding a screaming child, cooking dinner, or cleaning up spilled apple juice, you are doing so with one hand, and at this, you are masterful.
9. You show up at the pediatric office in high heels
There are just so many appointments, and doctors always want to schedule them in the middle of your workday. Not to mention the number of unscheduled appointments due to sicknesses, so you rush to the pediatrician like a mad woman, appearing frazzled and exhausted, but in high heels that you may want to use to stab someone.
10. Your diaper bag also serves as your briefcase
You invested in the biggest diaper bag you could find because you knew it would function as your work bag too.
Yes, there are moments when you are searching for your memo and accidentally pull out butt cream in front of coworkers. Yes, you have a hard time finding a pen under the sea of wipes, but one bag to house everything is so totally worth it.
11. Your coworker unknowingly used your pumped breast milk in his coffee
Not a lot of people want to talk about pumping and working, but you do it every workday, and you need a place to store all that milk. Sometimes the employee fridge is your only option.
Plus, your coworker, Harold, disregarded the label with your name written in Sharpie, so he got what he deserved.
12.You notice a smell coming from your cubicle and realize it’s you
What is that nasty, vomit, poop, expired milk, (insert 500 foul odors here) smell that is wafting from your cubicle? Due to sometimes lacking/forgetting to shower and running out the door after cleaning up poop, so much poop, you realize it’s probably you.
You then pull out that substantial big diaper bag, grab some wipes, and are fresh again within minutes.
13.You receive a Christmas gift from the owners of the local Panda Express
You keep on saying you are going to cook more homemade meals but after 10 hours at the office, an hour commute, and only four hours of sleep the night before, you pick up takeout more frequently than not.
So frequently that the owner gives you a candle, calendar, and handwritten Christmas card as a thank you.
That’s okay because you deserve it.
If you are a working mom, you are amazing! You have found a way to manage it all, and despite what anyone else says, you have done so with style.
And tomorrow morning, if you remember to put on your child’s pants as well as your own, you are already on track for a successful day.
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About the Author: Amanda Clark resides with her family in Ocala, Florida. In addition to contributing works for Peace Quarters, she also creates educational content for Atlas Mission. She is recently transitioning from a full-time middle school English teacher to a stay-at-home mom, tutor, transcriber, and writer. She has written four books of poetry: Looking at the Moon, Beautifully Mixed-Up World, Flying Fall, and Through the Blinds. She loves technology, juggling pins, and playing with her two-year-old son who will become a big brother in February. She also is a pro at multitasking.
Featured Image Courtesy: The Odyssey Online