There is a new study out that found that many people who remain friends with their former lovers are complete narcissists and psychopaths.
If you were wondering why some people remain friends with their former lovers after expiration, this new study found that often people with ‘dark personality traits’ are the ones who do that.
According to Psychology Today, states that narcissists and psychopaths should not be befriended after a breakup because: “they are less emotionally supportive, less helpful, less trusting and less concerned about the other person’s happiness.”
In “Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-relationship friendship,” Oakland University researchers Justin Mogilski and Lisa Welling questioned 860 subjects.
“Previous studies have shown that people who score highly for these traits are more likely to pick friends for strategic reasons, and prefer short-term relationships,” the Daily Mail reported.
To get an understanding out of this, these subjects were asked to rate their reasons for maintaining friendships with their exes. The results showed that the highest rating was given by those who felt their former relationships were “reliable, trustworthy and of sentimental value.” But researchers also found that subjects who had “measures of dark personality” were more likely to maintain relationships with their exes for “practical and sexual reasons.”
Interviewing with Broadly, a narcissism expert Dr. Tony Ferretti, explained why narcissist cuddle with the cold corpse of their dead relationships. “Narcissists hate to fail or lose, so will do what they can to maintain some connection if they didn’t choose to end it,” he said. “They can experience narcissistic injury when rejected by a partner and have difficulties letting it go or healing from it.”
He added, “People who are in close, healthy relationships are typically more physically active, more socially connected, live longer, and are physically healthier,” he said, adding that partnered individuals are even less likely to smoke and tend to their overall health. “People who are in deep, close, healthy, and intimate relationships tend to be happier,” Dr. Ferretti said.
But for narcissists, there are other benefits to relationships, Dr. Ferretti explained, and other motivations to cling to one that has ended. For example, a narcissist may feel as if their social status or position is amplified because of their partner. This is why some ego-maniacs acquire “trophy wives,” Dr. Ferretti said, adding that in the mind of the narcissist, a trophy wife is an improvement to their self-worth and confidence. “Narcissists have a tremendous amount of pride and can’t accept others being with their ex.”
Dr. Ferretti agrees with the findings in the study by Mogilski and Welling, stating that dark personality types are most interested in how relationships can be useful to them and that such people “may stay connected to [to exes to] have access to valuable resources. They also have inside information about their exes vulnerabilities and weaknesses that they can exploit and manipulate which gives them a sense of power and control,” he said.
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