To The Boy Who Emotionally Damaged Me; This Is For You

I know I am not the only one, who has gone through something like this, but it is hard to imagine, then anyone else has experienced that kind of pain. It is that kind of a feeling you do not even wish on your worst enemy. I was hurt because I loved too much. I was blinded by the butterflies, the sweet words and the dark eyes. I trusted you with all my hurt and never doubted you. I shouldn’t have done that, but I learned my lesson the hard way.

First of all, I do not hate you.

It would be easier just to think badly about you and to hate you. But I don’t. It took me, of course, a long time to get to this point, but today I am thankful for you. For all the memories you gave me and all the lessons you taught me. You might have broken me, but in the end, I am stronger and wiser than I ever have been. You brought a lot of joy to my life and showed me what real love looks like. Now I know, what to look for and what to avoid in the next guy.

The greatest thing you taught me was understanding my value. Now I see that I deserve so much better than you. I, like any other girl, deserve to be appreciated, loved and cared for. I never want to be with a guy who is manipulative or plays games. Now I know that.

I know that you are not the only one to blame. I got too attached. I depended on you. You were my only light, my sun, moon, and stars. I thought that you were the reason I was alive. When I needed you the most, you turned your back on me. I thought I could count on you, but I was wrong. I believed that this was true love, but the way you handled the situation, I know it wasn’t. Someone, who loves me truly, could never hurt me this way.

I thought you were my light, but you were my darkness.

I sincerely thought that you are the one, who is helping me get through my challenges. The truth is, you brought a lot more problems to my life than you took away. I was naive and believed that you had good intentions, but now I know better.

I know there is probably no point in telling you all this because you cannot see your mistakes and will probably do the same things to the next girl. You are so charming that you will sweep the girl off her feet and when she is truly in love, you betray her in some way. That’s just who you are.

For months I blamed myself for what had happened. I thought that my personality and behavior pushed you away. But now I know, that you are just not man enough to handle real life challenges and commitment.

I am not mad at you anymore. I just feel sorry for you and the next girl, who is going to get hurt by you.

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